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This thing we do • View topic - How can I call myself a ____ if I love discipline? Easy!!

How can I call myself a ____ if I love discipline? Easy!!

feminist? Christian? Pagan? Athiest? Loving partner? Adult?...

if you let someone discipline you?

Well, I know that we *are* all of those things, or whatever else we define ourselves to be. But sometimes, we just need to check in with other people, and be reminded that we're not doing something bad or wrong.

How can I call myself a ____ if I love discipline? Easy!!

Postby dd_bottom » Thu Jun 11, 2009 2:32 am

Well, what an interesting topic. I happen to be a Unitarian Universalist, have been since age 21 -- way back before I had done anything more than a couple tentative and for the most part frustrating forays into Spanking Land. If you don't know this joke yet, here goes:

Q: When the Ku Klux Klan comes to the Unitarian's house, what do they burn on the lawn?
A: A huge question mark.

Point is, I have for all of my adult life been curious, questioning, a devil's advocate if you will. I would not be comfortable standing up in my church discussing my kink -- but I am comforted to know that UUs welcome everyone -- gay, straight, questioning, Democratic, Republican (hmm, at least technically), religious, humanist, Buddhist, Christian, Hindu, you name it -- anyone who is willing to extend the same acceptance to others in their journey as has been extended to them.

What's odd is that I didn't quite accept my own Spanko Self, at least not until recently. I'm learning.
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Re: How can I call myself a ____ if I love discipline? Easy!!

Postby bodack » Thu Jun 11, 2009 6:06 am

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Re: How can I call myself a ____ if I love discipline? Easy!!

Postby dd_bottom » Thu Jun 11, 2009 6:27 am

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Re: How can I call myself a ____ if I love discipline? Easy!!

Postby JigsawAnalogy » Thu Jun 11, 2009 8:21 am

I wonder if anyone's done tracking of how the women's movement affected the prevalence of spankings in the media. If you think of older movies, there are a lot that include spankings. Then there was second wave feminism, and things kind of got squashed as a reaction to the massive misogyny. And then there was the third wave and after, as women started to say, "Hey, wait, just because I'm a feminist doesn't mean I can't be/do ____________"

My struggle with acceptance was less about spanking per se, and far more about the discipline side of things. I was comfortable with spanking-as-kink; that was a form of empowerment, and I'd had lots of great role models that I knew enjoyed spanking-as-kink. But needing someone to be in charge of me, have rules for me, etc.? That was a much harder thing to come to terms with.
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Re: How can I call myself a ____ if I love discipline? Easy!!

Postby topper2 » Thu Jun 11, 2009 10:23 am

Spanking was in a lot of books too. When I was in college 30 years ago, the alternative bookstore had a sign up in front of the Robert Heinlein books warning readers he was a misogynist and spankings lurked within.
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Re: How can I call myself a ____ if I love discipline? Easy!!

Postby bodack » Thu Jun 11, 2009 4:49 pm

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Re: How can I call myself a ____ if I love discipline? Easy!!

Postby JigsawAnalogy » Thu Jun 11, 2009 5:43 pm

That's odd. I haven't heard of the Crimes Against Women Act, and I didn't find it in a Google search.

I'm familiar with the , which focuses on penalizing rape and domestic violence, and on changing the medical and legal responses. It does things like funds domestic violence shelters. It doesn't have provisions for outlawing violent scenes in movies.
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Re: How can I call myself a ____ if I love discipline? Easy!!

Postby bodack » Thu Jun 11, 2009 9:42 pm

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Re: How can I call myself a ____ if I love discipline? Easy

Postby sharedrawer » Thu Jun 21, 2012 6:53 am

Nice post...........



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Re: How can I call myself a ____ if I love discipline? Easy

Postby artlover » Thu Jun 21, 2012 10:41 pm

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Re: How can I call myself a ____ if I love discipline? Easy

Postby splorange » Fri Jun 22, 2012 3:26 pm

'I had made the mistake of powering up my consciousness without having the appropriate scaffolding in place'

Marni Jackson, 'Pain'
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Re: How can I call myself a ____ if I love discipline? Easy

Postby artlover » Fri Jun 22, 2012 7:24 pm

splorange, pornography (as opposed to obscenity) is genearally legal in the U.S. What made the MacKinnon Dworkin/"radical feminist" approach to adult content so controversial is it sought to regulate it based on whether it was "good" or "bad" in how it presented women. The kind of relationships discussed on this site, in which females are presented as wanting and needing physical discipline, would be really really bad in this view. The very idea is pernicious, even if the women consent and really mean it, would be desperately unhappy without it.

As the Court ruled in the Hudnut decision, this distinction is not permissible under U.S. law.

I am surprised you say that the only "spanking porn" you ever came across featured men being disciplined. I am aware that such exists, but have not seen it. The amount of porn featuring women being spanked, from spanking romance novels (I was stunned at how much came up when I searched "spanking" on Barnes and Nobles ebook site) to hard edged videos, is huge. There are quite a few people producing spanking art, for example, and most is M/f or F/f.

AS to your last point, from what I can see, there is a fair amount of diversity in CDD. Many people involved in CDD appear to view it as an expression of something fundamental about their relationship to their spouse and God, and not as something that applies to all Christians. I get that in some incarnations CDD is very doctrinaire. The same can be said of secular dd. You can read pages of analysis of how women are naturally submissive to men, etc., on some dd sites. IMO, much of CDD is little different than TTWD, it just has a religious overlay.
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Re: How can I call myself a ____ if I love discipline? Easy

Postby splorange » Sat Jun 23, 2012 7:38 am

'I had made the mistake of powering up my consciousness without having the appropriate scaffolding in place'

Marni Jackson, 'Pain'
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Re: How can I call myself a ____ if I love discipline? Easy

Postby artlover » Sat Jun 23, 2012 3:23 pm

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Re: How can I call myself a ____ if I love discipline? Easy

Postby Eayore » Sat Jun 23, 2012 3:41 pm

I completely agree about the use of denigrating names.
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