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This thing we do • View topic - How do bottoms accept being bottoms?

How do bottoms accept being bottoms?

So what is discipline?
How can I get my partner to...?
How can I find someone to...?
How can I tell someone...?

Re: How do bottoms accept being bottoms?

Postby Eayore » Fri Jun 15, 2012 8:04 pm

I think you are right not to be bothered by others opinions!

The way I frame it in my head is that men (or me in particular) need and deserve corporal punishment to keep them civilised. So there is no conflict for me between being male/masculine and getting caned by my partner.
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Re: How do bottoms accept being bottoms?

Postby splorange » Sun Jun 17, 2012 5:10 pm

'I had made the mistake of powering up my consciousness without having the appropriate scaffolding in place'

Marni Jackson, 'Pain'
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Re: How do bottoms accept being bottoms?

Postby JigsawAnalogy » Wed Jun 20, 2012 1:28 pm

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Re: How do bottoms accept being bottoms?

Postby altbob » Wed Jun 20, 2012 2:34 pm

@Homebody - I can't exactly commiserate, being a Top. However, there is another way I can identify, I think. You are concerned about dealing with societal views that say men should be out providing and such. I can see where you would get backlash. I have to deal with the idea that if normal society knew about my sadistic tendencies and enjoyment of control, I would be viewed as a monster (at least I tend to assume that). So to some extent I can relate. I can tell you what works for me, sometimes, and you may be able to make it work for you.
Arrogance (or self confidence, if you want to be PC about it). Just think about how you discuss and go over things with your partner that many are afraid of and hide from, or that leak out and get indulged / dealt with in decidedly less safe ways by ignoring them.
You have the courage to find someone and open yourself up to what you need. That's not easy, nor is it common. Bravery and bravado aren't the same thing.
Also keep in mind there are 2 kinds of people who may give you negative reactions. One views you as having something wrong with you, and that's that. The other may have a knee jerk reaction, but know it's irrational. To me those are worth giving a second chance to.
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Re: How do bottoms accept being bottoms?

Postby Homebody » Thu Jun 21, 2012 3:44 am

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Re: How do bottoms accept being bottoms?

Postby altbob » Thu Jun 21, 2012 11:18 am

I can see that. I also just think of what I am as more than manly, I am Bobly. If you set that up for yourself, then you are being you quite well. I have also admitted to myself there is a monster, so I keep him on a short leash
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Re: How do bottoms accept being bottoms?

Postby splorange » Fri Jun 22, 2012 10:44 am

'I had made the mistake of powering up my consciousness without having the appropriate scaffolding in place'

Marni Jackson, 'Pain'
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Re: How do bottoms accept being bottoms?

Postby wicked nurse » Thu Jan 24, 2013 4:43 pm

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Re: How do bottoms accept being bottoms?

Postby splorange » Wed Feb 06, 2013 8:22 pm

I always feel a little disappointed that Alain de Botton's name isn't just de Bottom and be done with it.

Ah wicked nurse... these things are so complicated! Right now, my boyfriend is the one in serious need of punishment. But it's not what we do, and anyway, we live in different countries! I redefine myself almost daily though, so it works out.
'I had made the mistake of powering up my consciousness without having the appropriate scaffolding in place'

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