@Homebody - I can't exactly commiserate, being a Top. However, there is another way I can identify, I think. You are concerned about dealing with societal views that say men should be out providing and such. I can see where you would get backlash. I have to deal with the idea that if normal society knew about my sadistic tendencies and enjoyment of control, I would be viewed as a monster (at least I tend to assume that). So to some extent I can relate. I can tell you what works for me, sometimes, and you may be able to make it work for you.
Arrogance (or self confidence, if you want to be PC about it). Just think about how you discuss and go over things with your partner that many are afraid of and hide from, or that leak out and get indulged / dealt with in decidedly less safe ways by ignoring them.
You have the courage to find someone and open yourself up to what you need. That's not easy, nor is it common. Bravery and bravado aren't the same thing.
Also keep in mind there are 2 kinds of people who may give you negative reactions. One views you as having something wrong with you, and that's that. The other may have a knee jerk reaction, but know it's irrational. To me those are worth giving a second chance to.