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This thing we do • View topic - Punishment as motivator for weight-loss?

Punishment as motivator for weight-loss?

What punishments have worked for you? Which made you (or your partner) feel frustrated or resentful?

This is the meta forum, focused more on general talk.

Punishment as motivator for weight-loss?

Postby Katja » Tue Aug 28, 2012 7:54 am

Hi,

I have a question, thats a little embarrasing for me. We don't practice TTWD really (momentarly more BDSM-elements) but I really love the idea of being punished for real. OK, and now my idea (and I hope you don't think I am crazy), but please tell if, if you think its stupid.

I am a bit overweight (25 KG). Now I have t he idea, that my hubby maybe can give me a punishment-caning every week with 25 strikes (for every kilo to much) and also punish me for overeating. For me it would be an turn on, because I love the idea of being punished (and also I am trying to get my hubby to do this). Also in my eyes I don't like it, when I am so fat and I know also don't like it, he always loved my good figure before (I am not so long so overweight) and I know he would be really glad if I loss weight and become back my figure). So maybe he will do it (for me and for him). Maybe this could be a good start into a regullarly TTWD-Lifestyle. And maybe then, when he addapt it, he beacme the taste of punishing me and will do it then for other reason out of of our life.

One time he did it, he caned me for that on my ass, but then he said, that he said, that he have to place the strokes all over my body, where I am to fat (my belly and legs and my breasts :blush: ), It was a bit overwhelming for me at this moment, so I said "No, only on my butt". Since then he never repeat it.

And I thought about it and now I wish he would do it again (and again and again).

What do you think, maybe it will works?
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Re: Punishment as motivator for weight-loss?

Postby splorange » Thu Aug 30, 2012 11:43 am

I think this sounds a good idea and I think many people practise something similar. If you want to lose the weight it sounds like a positive motivator. I think you should be careful about the mechanism though.

I'd possibly be concerned about punishing for every kilo overweight. This is just because you can't magically change the fact that you're overweight right now, so you might start to feel it's unfair to be punished every week for a situation that won't be gone for many months. So I'd just be cautious, because a healthy weight loss target probably wouldn't be more than a kilo a week (often less). So in a week's time, if you successfully lose a kilo, you'll be caned 24 times - if you don't lose weight you'll be caned 25 times. For me being spared one stroke simply wouldn't be enough of a motivation to diet all week (it's hard to lose that much weight even though it sounds very little!) and then to have an almost equivalent punishment for success as for failure would seem all wrong. Maybe you could consider setting yourself goals, punishing for failure to reach them and rewarding for success. If you don't think you would feel as I do and think it seems reasonable to punish for every kilo overweight every week, then of course go for that! But you should be allowed to revise your opinion any time.

As for punishing for overeating, that seems fair. Similarly, if you don't want your husband to cane you anywhere except your butt, then he should respect that as he has done.
'I had made the mistake of powering up my consciousness without having the appropriate scaffolding in place'

Marni Jackson, 'Pain'
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Re: Punishment as motivator for weight-loss?

Postby artlover » Fri Aug 31, 2012 12:18 am

My wife and I did this for a while. She had lost a lot of weight and was trying to keep it off. We had weekly weigh ins on Saturday nights, and she was spanked if she had gone up. I am quite certain it slowed her regaining weight for some time. Ultimately, she found keeping the weight off very hard. Simultaneously, she was becoming hostile to the concept of ttwd. So, she withdrew her consent. And gained back the weight she had lost.

It is hard to keep weight off. The rules have to reflect this. No unrealistic benchmarks. I am hoping at some point my wife will be willing to start this up again. Since the focus would be on losing, our new rules would be something like this: We have a digital scale. We would have weekly weigh ins. Or maybe bi-weekly. If she is an once down, she would not get spanked. If she loses a pound or more, there would be some reward. For example, I have told my wife if she signs on to such a plan, I will do all the laundry following any weigh in in which she has lost a pound from the week before. When she was gaining, she ended up over my lap three or four weeks in a row. Under this regime, she might not have to touch the laundry for three or four weeks in a row.

Ideally, consequences would be scaled. If she is the same weight as last week, a hand spanking. A gain in weight would result in some quality time with my belt. (I say ideally, because while we did experiment with the belt a few times, she never took much to being disciplined with implements, and I will be delighted if I can get her back to accepting hand spankings.)

(I recognize that, realistically, the pace of weight loss is going to fluctuate. It would be much better, if it was practical, to instead have the rule be that she can only eat a certain number of calories per week, and has to exercise a certain number of times per week. However, most people won't properly count their calories. Going with the scale will result in some punishments where she did nothing wrong, eating wise, and others where she ate bad but escaped punishment. It is the easiest measurable way to do this, however, and will undoubtedly be much more correct than not over the long term. )

Now, it is important to note that before we did this, I had lost over twenty pounds and was keeping myself in shape. When she withdrew her consent and essentially gave up, I ended up gaining much of that back myself. I have now lost it again, and have kept it off for some months, before suggesting that we start up again. This reflects my belief the idea that the top must have his or her own house in order, as much as possible. I could not justify disciplining my wife for not losing weight if I was not setting a good example myself.

I will add that my wife did assent to keep a rule closely related to weight loss. She must exercise for at least a half hour on three days during a week. The exercise has firmed her up some, even if she has not lost much weight. I am a little uncertain to call this a rule, since I am not sure she would actually follow through and lay over my lap if she broke it. She is in the habit of exercising now, and has only missed her three sessions once. Unfortunately, that week I did not get my own exercise in, and therefore could not punish her for it. Still, I know for a fact there have been times she would not have got the third exercise session in if I had not checked up on how she is doing, and reminded her that I expected her to come over my lap if she did not get the third one in.

The exercise rule is much easier to keep than the losing weight rule.
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Re: Punishment as motivator for weight-loss?

Postby altbob » Wed Sep 05, 2012 5:04 pm

Exercise and eating habits affect health more directly, and will automatically maintain a healthy weight if continued. So I would focus on training for those, as they are, in my opinion, more the real problem and your weight is more of a symptom.
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