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This thing we do • View topic - your thoughts on bdsm pride at... gay pride?

your thoughts on bdsm pride at... gay pride?

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your thoughts on bdsm pride at... gay pride?

Postby muchinspired » Wed Aug 15, 2012 2:52 pm

so, i just bought a leather pride flag to carry around and probably just wrap myself up in at Pride on the twenty sixth with R. i'm not sure if there was ever a thread on ttwd about people's thoughts regarding d/s and bdsm intertwining with a lot of gay prides? but i was just curious what everyone here thought. some people think it's disrespectful, more people think it's got nothing to do with being gay and that people who display their being into bdsm during gay pride should have their own day to act like freaks somewhere else. what do you guys think?
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Re: your thoughts on bdsm pride at... gay pride?

Postby splorange » Wed Aug 15, 2012 3:42 pm

A separate bdsm day sounds like a nice idea. But anyone who is calling you a freak sounds like a massive dickwad to me. I don't think bdsm is really a gay thing because it's also such a straight thing. I don't agree with any of the statements you quoted which were 'disrespectful', 'nothing to do with being gay' and 'freaks'. I suppose there is a slight worry though that people will assume gay and bdsm are interchangeable, and I can understand a desire to avoid that. But, if it's just a flag that happens to be made of leather, that's not that big a reference, so why not.
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Re: your thoughts on bdsm pride at... gay pride?

Postby muchinspired » Wed Aug 15, 2012 3:48 pm

i only said those things because i've seen them over and over and over again. which is sad. but no, i'm not going in boots and with a collar on. ahahaha. just for that reason, i don't want to offend people. and the flag is cute! it's got a big red heart on it, black and blue stripes, and one white stripe. just the pride flag for bdsm.
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Re: your thoughts on bdsm pride at... gay pride?

Postby splorange » Wed Aug 15, 2012 3:51 pm

Oh, I know they aren't what you think at all! Not really fair for people to say those things though. I'm guessing though that some gay people feel like the lifestyle is always confused with bdsm, and it must be frustrating if you're gay but not into that. Sounds like a lovely flag! How could that cause offence.
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Re: your thoughts on bdsm pride at... gay pride?

Postby muchinspired » Wed Aug 15, 2012 3:57 pm

i don't know if it's alright for me to post this, but this is what i'm talking about. it's from a forum called 'straightacting'. it's these kind of things that worry me:

'Pride season is almost over. But lately I'm feeling as though it's lost. It just seems like that most of the big Pride parties in Toronto, Montreal, San Francisco, ect. are just that, parties. Taking a stand on issues and fighting for rights doesn't seem to be a part of Pride anymore. What does getting really drunk or high while doing a bunch or really dangerous designer drugs have to do with gay pride?

Why are nudists and fetishists and poly-people marching in a Gay Pride parade? Last I checked Pride was not about choice so why the hell would some BDSM daddy there? Not that a BDSM daddy is a bad person, or that BDSM is wrong, but it's not a sexual orientation or a gender orientation. It's a lifestyle choice. Who cares what a perons choices are?

The whole community seems to be lacking a moral center, other wise would a poly-person be there? Why would pubic sex acts, fake or real be done during the parade? What's wrong with judging people and saying, "I'm right and that behavior is wrong". That's what gay activists had to do in the old days. They saw that the we were being treated badly for being who we are so they fought to try and change it. Now it just seems like gay activism has turned into a relativistic non-issue movement, "there's no right or wrong so let's not judge anything. Let's do whatever the hell we want no matter what it is because judgeing and takeing a stand on an issue is bad".'
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Re: your thoughts on bdsm pride at... gay pride?

Postby splorange » Wed Aug 15, 2012 4:12 pm

'I had made the mistake of powering up my consciousness without having the appropriate scaffolding in place'

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Re: your thoughts on bdsm pride at... gay pride?

Postby Nat » Sat Aug 18, 2012 8:58 am

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Re: your thoughts on bdsm pride at... gay pride?

Postby JigsawAnalogy » Mon Oct 01, 2012 11:29 am

Number one, the gay rights movement as we know it started with Stonewall, which was a bunch of drunk and trans queer people rioting after a bar was raided. The gay pride parades we know today (raucous, noisy, in your face, taking over the streets) started in 1970, and definitely included people who were expressing alternate forms of sexuality, including kink. There were marches before that, with people dressed in gender-conforming clothing, respectfully asking for their rights (or at least not to be arrested for having sex with someone of the same gender).

There has always been a tension in the gay/bi/lesbian/trans/queer/etc community between those who think the best route is to prove that we're all just like everyone else, only more respectable, and those who are pushing the edges of conformity. That goes right back to the start of the gay movement as we are familiar with it from popular culture.

And, boy oh BOY, are the people on both sides judgmental about the choices other people make. The ones aiming for conformity believe the others are disgusting or wrong, and too "out there." The ones aiming to push the fringes believe the ones aiming for conformity are in denial of the real issues. And they both believe the other side is distracting from the ultimate goals of the movement. Mostly because it's not just one movement.

Oh, and then there are the people who are just in it for the party, and I don't see anything wrong with that.

My guess is that the world needs all kinds of people, and that it's really hypocritical to judge how other people live and act in the world... well, okay, I'm VERY judgmental, but then, I'M right. :nanana:
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