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This thing we do • View topic - Is this lying in your book?

Is this lying in your book?

SpankoNanny, WE NEED YOUR HELP!

Here's a section for those questions about discipline. In this case, we're *all* able to stand in for SpankoNanny, and we are all free to ask questions. Got a problem in your household? Check in to see what our good friend (but our firm, strict, caring friend) SpankoNanny has to say.

Re: Is this lying in your book?

Postby lana » Tue Sep 28, 2010 10:39 pm

No we have no restricted phone service. I could have called him from our home phone but I didnt cause I have been careless so much I knew he would be upset so I wanted to fix the cell before he knew it was drenched. I found out later he had called once evening on home phone but it was busy and when he eventually called again next morning I answered and told him cell was broken and i coulodnt fix it.

Julia:
As to your question about deserving some punishment: Yes I did deserve a punishment. Actually, in our rules repeated neglect of my health can result in a serious punishment. So i could have anyways even w/o the lying by omission part . Also the carelessness which is usually just a reminder spanking had gotten so excessive and Id had a number of warning spankings about carelessness that he thought it was really time to have to make a point.

But I dont think it would have been as severe if my HOH didnt think I was being dishonest and disobedient. He said I should know he wants me to call him right away(meaning as soon as i reasonably can)-- since this delaying has been an issue in the past that we have disagreed about. I think he wanted to make the point that regardless of my wanting to fix things, he had told me to call right away and that is what I should have done. In other words it was to show me who wore the pants.

JA I also dont think it was really about LBO thats just the label that he came up with to describe what was really more like wriggling or :weasel: .
Also sometimes there are a lot of things happen and I make a few careless mistakes, procrastinate a bit, and one bad decision and it all comes together to make a perfect storm (on my bottom)

Thanks everyone for the feedback-- it has helped me see that no matter what my hoh called it, I was really disobeying(by delaying telling him) to try to avoid the bad licking that I knew would come if i was careless and ruined a cellphone again.
carrie
btw-- my new cell i'm getting the cover-anything-that-happens insurance for ;)
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Re: Is this lying in your book?

Postby JigsawAnalogy » Tue Sep 28, 2010 11:02 pm

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Re: Is this lying in your book?

Postby Julia » Wed Sep 29, 2010 6:17 am

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Re: Is this lying in your book?

Postby lana » Thu Sep 30, 2010 9:03 pm

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Re: Is this lying in your book?

Postby lana » Thu Sep 30, 2010 9:21 pm

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Re: Is this lying in your book?

Postby JigsawAnalogy » Thu Sep 30, 2010 10:00 pm

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Re: Is this lying in your book?

Postby lana » Fri Oct 01, 2010 6:25 am

JA: Do you mean that you resist getting spanked and fight your hoh when the trigger occurs. Dont have to answer if this question is too personal --just Im having hard time understanding what you mean
Carrie
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Re: Is this lying in your book?

Postby JigsawAnalogy » Fri Oct 01, 2010 11:53 am

Well, W and I don't exactly have a "HoH" type arrangement, so that's less of an issue. :cheesy:

There are a few different ways that I might respond if I were triggered.

One is that I become something I'd describe as "willfully obedient." Even though I know that things feel wrong, and that I'm not in a good mental space for a punishment to be effective, I will stubbornly insist on just going through it, knowing that it won't make me feel any differently. I won't respond much to the spanking (or other punishment), and I don't resist--in fact, on the surface I seem eager to receive it... or at least to get it over with. It's a control thing, and it's some of how I coped when I was a kid--I knew the adults weren't going to listen to anything I said, and that they weren't able or willing to recognize how I was responding so long as I didn't defy them. They didn't care about how I felt, they just wanted to exercise power. So I let them feel they were in control, all the while knowing that my responses (or lack thereof) were what shaped the outcome.

Another way I might respond is by having a panic attack. Shaking, sobbing, sheer terror. That might happen when I was in a good mental space, and something went wrong, or it might be an outcome of willful obedience.

When I'm able to recognize that I'm getting triggered, and have the ability to act on that, I just let W know that something isn't right, and we step back until we can fix the situation. In our dynamic, we assume that neither of us is a mind-reader, and we trust each other to be honest. W might often have a good sense of what I need, but she's not telepathic. It's my job to make sure she has enough information to take care of me (and vice versa, obviously).

We tend to believe that something like me not holding still for a punishment, or otherwise resisting, means that something isn't working correctly. While it's a nice fantasy to be held down against resistance, in practice for us resistance is a signal that we need to change how a punishment is occurring.
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Re: Is this lying in your book?

Postby Dreamgirl » Fri Oct 01, 2010 4:25 pm

JA's above post makes a lot of sense to me.

btw, what/who is hoh?
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Re: Is this lying in your book?

Postby JigsawAnalogy » Fri Oct 01, 2010 5:01 pm

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Re: Is this lying in your book?

Postby W-Jigsaw'sBoss » Fri Oct 01, 2010 7:27 pm



"I am loving, firm and flexible. Kind of like Lexan."
:cheesy:
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Re: Is this lying in your book?

Postby lana » Sat Oct 02, 2010 2:19 am

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Re: Is this lying in your book?

Postby Dreamgirl » Sat Oct 02, 2010 12:58 pm

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Re: Is this lying in your book?

Postby lana » Sat Oct 02, 2010 7:14 pm

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Re: Is this lying in your book?

Postby Dreamgirl » Sun Oct 03, 2010 5:10 am

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