Stressaholic

SpankoNanny, WE NEED YOUR HELP!

Here's a section for those questions about discipline. In this case, we're *all* able to stand in for SpankoNanny, and we are all free to ask questions. Got a problem in your household? Check in to see what our good friend (but our firm, strict, caring friend) SpankoNanny has to say.

Stressaholic

Postby FootballJunkie » Wed Mar 02, 2011 11:51 pm

I have a confession. I am a stressaholic. Everything stresses me out - tests in my easiest classes, work, quizzes, papers, and then of course with getting married there is the where are we going to live, where are we going to work, etc. So my question is...do any of you do or recommend stress relief or stress-breaking (???) spankings? I would really like to not be a stressaholic. For example, Sunday night I got so stressed about a test that I had the next day that I almost gave myself a heart attack. I wish I was kidding... I love that T went and got my some aspirin to help so that I wouldn't keel over, but I kinda wish he'd try to spank it out of my or at least to where it's a manageable level. I know that might seem like borderline harshness to some but, what do you all think/recommend? Do any of you stress out like I do? Anything else worked for you guys?
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Re: Stressaholic

Postby brightlyblaze » Thu Mar 03, 2011 12:20 am

I ask for a stress-reliever all the time. Sir has offered it a few times too, but usually waits for me so I don't think I'm being punished for my own anxiety. It's been a great thing for me, and the tone is very, very different from a discipline session. Talk to your fiance, it might be worth a shot, especially if there is a particular kind of spanking that you like, a position you are comfortable in, the right kind of pain, etc. Good luck! I swear this is the only way I'm getting through my phd lol
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Re: Stressaholic

Postby BickaBecka » Thu Mar 03, 2011 3:11 am

I don't think there's anything wrong with that at all! G.D. used do do this all the time. We'd call it a "comfort spanking". It works very well, and I highly recommend it!
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you just keep on trying till you run out of cake.
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Re: Stressaholic

Postby JigsawAnalogy » Thu Mar 03, 2011 10:04 am

They don't always work for me, but they can help. As brightlyblaze mentioned, it can be helpful to ask for them, rather than waiting for your partner to initiate. I've noticed that W's natural response to me being stressed out is *not* to give me a spanking, whether because it seems like punishing me for being anxious, or whether because it just comes more naturally to her to comfort me than to spank me. So letting your partner know what you need can be helpful.

I'd also recommend looking for additional ways of coping with stress, whether it's meditation or walks or taking a break from the thing stressing you out, or journaling, or watching TV or listening to music, or figuring out what's causing the stress.... I haven't found that spankings are a cure-all for stress (sad to say), and while they can help, I need to have other things available as well.

Good luck.
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Re: Stressaholic

Postby Meg » Thu Mar 03, 2011 2:12 pm

Recently Obsidian and I were watching a National Geographic Special all about stress. (Did I mention, we are geeks :)) Anyways, it was really interesting. The majority of it was devoted to research of baboons in the wild and British civil servants. I guess baboons have a very complicated hierarchical social structure, do not need to devote much time in obtaining food, so they have a lot of time, as the researcher said, "to make each other miserable." They also used British civil servants because they have a complex hierarchy, but all have access to the same health care, so they could rule out differences in access to health care. Not surprisingly, they found that those on the lower end of the social structure of both baboons and British civil servants showed far more damage from stress than those higher up.

Anyways, what they found is that stress is far more physiological and hormonal than psychological. It is a mechanism for protecting us from predators and for catching prey. All of our body functions are devoted to giving us a short burst of energy to either catch our meal or to avoid becoming one. Other functions, such as higher reasoning and our immune system shut down, because we do not need them if we are running to avoid being eaten by a lion, because it is short period of time in which it is either over or we are over, because we are dinner. The problem is, as one of the researchers stated, "we get stressed out by stuff that no zebra running for its life from being eaten by a lion would ever understand." We often live under constant stress, which is really bad for our bodies, because they were not designed to function under the hormones involved for long periods of time.


Anyways, how this relates is that, yes, a spanking might provide enough relief in order to stop the stress response. Other the other hand, it might intensify the stress response. It depends on the person. For me, sometimes they work, and sometimes they don't. If I expect Obsidian to notice I am stressed and give me a spanking, this creates more stress, because then, well, it may or may not happen...if this makes sense. Also, in this instance, you will probably need some control in order to cope, rather than adding to the stress response. When I ask for a spanking to relieve the stress response, and Obsidian gives me one, then it is far more likely to be calming. I agree with Jigsaw, even if spanking helps you, and even if your partner is willing to give you such spanking, your partner will not be available for spanking 24/7...and may not always have the energy or being in headspace to help, so I would use it as one tool among many, if this makes sense.

Good luck to you!
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Re: Stressaholic

Postby FootballJunkie » Mon Mar 07, 2011 7:13 pm

Thanks for all the responses. Glad I'm not crazy.
I have taken quite a few psychology courses in college and actually watched the video that Amethyst mentioned in one of my classes (which was devoted entirely to stress). I know a lot of different stress relieving techniques but haven't found very many that actually conquer my level of stress. At times, I allow my stress to reach the point to where I am on the brink of a panic attack. I'm hoping to avoid that. Not to mention that it's just not healthy to have a high level of stress for an extended period of time. I definitely agree that it should be one of many options for stress relief, but I just wanted to know how they worked (and that they work) for you guys. We haven't really found a happy medium yet for making stress relief different from punishment...mainly because I'm such an angel. :pray:
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Re: Stressaholic

Postby JigsawAnalogy » Tue Mar 08, 2011 10:53 am

I also find that, for me, it helps to try to track down the source of the "stress," since a whole lot of things wind up under that category for me, and the solutions are different depending on the source. For example, I was super cranky and in a foul mood yesterday. Some of that was from an ongoing lack of TTWD around here, and I do know that getting regular discipline helps to keep me on an even keel. But when I started sneezing and coughing around bedtime, I realized that a significant part of why I was feeling so out of sorts was that I was coming down with some sort of illness, and once I was able to figure that out... well, the solution for that is different from the solution for lack of spankings.
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