Most of the things that have happened bad to me in life, while seeming very irksome & hard to bear at the time, looking back later I remember those times fondly now with laughter and I was glad I supported my hoh in what he chose to do* even when i disagreed with it at the time. It was the obstacles we overcame together as a team that give me the most satisfaction. I can imagine in Bbs case saying to my hoh "Remember the time we were all starving and wondering around town in the heat trying to find a restaurant and I was about to strangle you?"And him saying "Yeah, i figured you were getting a little po'd-- but thats how we found the other place we like so much now"
As for what splorange said, we (me and gman) dont do it that way. If I am under stress and a bit snappy thats okay but if I go too far and blow up at my hoh, slamming dishes or cursing at him or loud voice or refuse to answer him(which is not very often) I am spanked right on the spot if we're at home or asap afterwards. (For some reason when im in this particular raging mood, a warning alone doesnt work that well.) No rituals, no warmup, pants down over the couch arm or OTK. with whatever implement comes to hand first from the shelf.
This hurts a lot and i hate it and begging it to stop; --but after the howling and struggling and apologizing, and he finally
stops spanking, it usually works and all the stress is gone and im feeling very submissive and close and sorry for how i acted. Like a weight of worry lifted. Im sure it wouldn t work this way for most people, but it does for me.
His saying is "Its okay to have feelings but not okay to act out on them." which I agree with entirely in theory but of course no one is perfect all the time.
*(Not that that means T didnt appreciate my advice on things and often followed it. T was open to criticism but still made the final decisions)