My first severe spanking

SpankoNanny, WE NEED YOUR HELP!

Here's a section for those questions about discipline. In this case, we're *all* able to stand in for SpankoNanny, and we are all free to ask questions. Got a problem in your household? Check in to see what our good friend (but our firm, strict, caring friend) SpankoNanny has to say.

My first severe spanking

Postby Lunarose66 » Thu Mar 19, 2009 2:32 am

Okay, some of you that have been reading my posts wanted to hear about my punishment. I'm writing it here because I want some advise.

So, Daddy K got here on Wed. the 4th. I got a pretty sound spanking right off the bat for not remembering to greet him properly when we arrived at my apartment. He brought me to tears right away which is something that has not usually happened for me in the past. It hurt, but it also spanked all the jitters right outta me. Once you've been bare bottomed over someone's knee, squirming and crying your eyes out, you're not really shy anymore.

We had a wonderful time the next three days, but I was nervous cause I knew I still had my big punishment coming for doing poorly in school last term. I kinda got the feeling that we weren't really doing any play spanking because I was really gonna get it and he didn't want any fun spankings to make my punishment any worse. Later he confirmed that was his intention.

So, the last night he was here I knew I would have to face it. We had a nice dinner together and cleaned up the dishes. Then he told me that we had some business to attend to and boy was I scared! :hiding: He let me put my hair up in pigtails cause I hate getting spanked with my hair down (nothing like choking on your own hair while your bottom is getting roasted). He'd set out a hairbrush, paddle, and the switches he'd made out of dowel rods from the hardware store. I told him I was scared, and he said I should be.

Then I got a bit of a lecture and had to ask for my spanking. He put me over his knee for his hand and the hairbrush. I was already in tears even though he told me that was just the warm up. Then I had to bend over with my hands on the chair for the rest. I had never been spanked in any position that I wasn't supported by something ie..spanker's lap, bed, couch. It was so hard for me to stay in position for such a hard spanking. He sent me to the corner for a break between each implement. The whole thing was so upsetting that I don't remember if I got the belt before the paddle or vice versa. I got the switch last and then it was over.

Then I just lost it. Even though the spanking was severe, I knew I deserved it, and I knew that he loved me enough to spank me that hard. The thing was, I also knew he was leaving in the morning and I so desperately didn't want him to go. I just cried and cried.

So, here's the advise I need. I have never been spanked so hard in my life. I truely could not sit without a pillow for a couple days. I had bruises, welts, and even some blood where the belt hit. It's been over a week and I still have some fading marks. It doesn't bother me. I didn't feel abused. On the contrary, I feel loved like I never have before. Even though he is strict and my spanking was harsh, he is a wonderfully loving man. He truely treated me like a princess the whole time he was here. Even during the punishment he was gentle with me emotionally when I didn't think I could take anymore.

So, how much is too much? Is it truely up to the person recieving the punishment? Or is there a point when a punishment is too harsh because it causes too much physical damage? Am I just worried because I've never had a really severe spanking before? I know that spankings and punishment are different for everyone, but has anyone else been spanked till they had welts and blisters that took a little while to heal?

Looking forward to some feedback on this.

lunarose66
Lunarose66
Rank 1
Rank 1
 
Posts: 15
Joined: Tue Jan 20, 2009 3:43 am
spam_b: spam bots suck ass

Re: My first severe spanking

Postby bodack » Thu Mar 19, 2009 4:45 am

I have been spanked until I have had bruises that lasted over a week. The funny thing is it really didn't hurt.

My concern is if you do this regularly you will end up with a "leather butt" and not be able to feel the lighter spankings. This will just make it harder and harder to get a punishment spanking.

the fact that he has shown that he can and will make you cry should make you more psychologically ready for a proper spanking and the future ones really shouldn't be this hard. :rant:
bodack
Rank 3
Rank 3
 
Posts: 140
Joined: Mon Jul 28, 2008 2:05 pm

Re: My first severe spanking

Postby JigsawAnalogy » Thu Mar 19, 2009 8:00 am

back before w and i did disciplinary spankings, we'd do play spankings, and some of those were really intense (and yet, easier to take... i'm not sure why, but it's definitely the case). after a birthday spanking, or other trip to a play party where we could play without worrying about the noise, i'd wind up with bruises that would last a long while.

so i guess that made it easier to accept the idea that punishment spankings might also leave bruises or welts.

my take is that even bruises or welts are something that will wear off in time. we're careful to pay attention to things like avoiding the bones (especially my tailbone), and i do pay attention to the signals my body is giving.

So, how much is too much? Is it truely up to the person recieving the punishment? Or is there a point when a punishment is too harsh because it causes too much physical damage?


first, i would say that in my relationship, it's not really up to me, aside from safety concerns. w and i agree that i'm more aware of the signals my body is giving about safety stuff and about my emotional response, and if i know it's unsafe, it's my responsibility to let her know. i don't get to decide whether a punishment is too harsh.

and i suppose it's a matter between those involved in the spanking as to the boundaries of how much physical damage can happen. w and i are comfortable with some welts or bruises, but not with broken skin (although with some implements, she has broken the skin, and i can remember a couple of occasions where that didn't stop her from finishing the punishment).

i haven't found that spankings cause any long-term damage. once my backside has recovered from the spanking, it's as good as new. so i think that's made a difference in both of our comfort levels with more harsh spankings.

good luck *this* semester!
User avatar
JigsawAnalogy
rank 6
rank 6
 
Posts: 2875
Joined: Sun Oct 14, 2007 9:44 am
Location: New York
spam_b: I am not a spammer, I *delete* spammers!
How did you find the board?: Hm. Well, I was poking around in my imagination, and there it was.

Re: My first severe spanking

Postby topper2 » Thu Mar 19, 2009 11:09 am

I think the idea of severity and what is enough or too much would be up to each couple. Do you have a safe word (you may or may not want one - but it is a safety net of sorts) and did you feel in danger would be the first questions I would ask when trying to determine if this was too severe for you. Bruising GF is not my favorite thing, but she is not upset by it and it seems most bottoms on this board are not upset at being bruised either. Another thing to think about is whether when you were so upset that you cannot remember which implement was being used - was it from pain or fear or remorse or the whole discipline aura or the fact that he was leaving the next day? If it was from pain or fear- that seems a bit extreme to me, but I am not known for my fortitude in these matters. Physically - skin can be broken which should be cared for properly but most bruising heals without lasting ill effects in that area from what I have read (I did read a lot about it for fear of injuring GF). Arnica gel may help with the bruising.
User avatar
topper2
Rank 3
Rank 3
 
Posts: 234
Joined: Fri Mar 13, 2009 6:27 pm

Re: My first severe spanking

Postby Eayore » Thu Mar 19, 2009 5:31 pm

I personally think it is possible to be 'whipped' too hard, i.e. some people have died that way in the past (I think the Russian Tsar, Ivan the Terrible, was said to have killed his own son by an excessive flogging)... but I doubt if there could be such a thing as a dangerous spanking. Admittedly, there can be dangerous things like damaging the tail bone by being struck too high up. It doesn't sound to me like Daddy K would make any such mistake though, since he appears to be highly experienced?!

If I have a feeling of pride and warmth for a week after a good spanking, and bruises (and even some broken skin) on my butt to remind me, then I take it as something to celebrate!!
User avatar
Eayore
rank 6
rank 6
 
Posts: 1721
Joined: Thu Nov 08, 2007 9:43 pm
Location: Ascot, UK
spam_b: What is a spam bot?
How did you find the board?: From the Punishment Book

Re: My first severe spanking

Postby Lunarose66 » Fri Mar 20, 2009 2:01 am

Hey Everybody,

Thank-you for all your input. I think the only reason I was concerned is that I have never had a spanking that broke the skin before. It really didn't bother me. I mean the, punishment was VERY effective, but I didn't feel abused or harmed in any way.

In response to everybody's posts...

bodack- This was intended to be a serious punishment for screwing up big-time. It was intended to push my limits and show me that he will spank me severely if I screw up that badly. It wasn't a normal punishment for everyday type offences. He wouldn't spank me that hard all the time. Besides he lives 2000 miles away so we'll only be able to see each other every few months anyway :world:

JigsawAnalogy-Thanks for the insight. I think it just freaked me out cause it broke the skin. I think that is fairly common though if a person is into being spanked pretty hard. I actually have had it happen on accident before, but this was different. He knew the belt would break my skin a little at that force, but it was still controlled. I think it would bother me more if it happened on accident. Instead, I know that he is a very experienced spanker and I trust him all that much more because of that.

This term just ended for me Wed. and I 'think' I got all A's. I don't know for sure till grades are posted. :read:

Topper2- No, I don't have a safe word. I trust him totally and we have talked about the fact that if I ever needed him to stop for some reason I would just say so. We have such a connection I really think he would know the difference in my body language and tone of voice between me fussing over being spanked and really needing it to stop. Also, the reason I sort of lost track of the order of things was because I was VERY upset. I was scared, but only because I was getting a very serious punishment for a very serious screw-up. Mostly though I was just upset that I had earned such a spanking, and that I knew my short time with Daddy K was almost over. He cuddled me all up afterward and rubbed cream into my sore flesh and fixed up the spots that broke skin. :)

Eayore- Yes, I agree about the good feelings after a good hard spankin. Daddy K would never whip me to death, but he has no problem giving me a good belting on my butt and thighs. I think that was another thing that made this punishment more intense for me. I've never been spanked on my thighs before and ALOT of the spanking was centered there. It REALLY hurt. You are right he IS highly experienced as a disciplinarian. I feel very lucky indeed. My backside might not agree with me though :paddle:

Thank-you all for responding. I think my conclusion is that as long as I feel comfortable with a little bit of damage, it's fine. I felt like it was a little crazy to purposely let someone damage my body. Really, it's no different than getting lots of peircings or tattoos. It's my body, so if I don't mind I don't care what anyone else might think.

BTW I had this discussion with my therapist. She didn't have quite the same insight that you guys do.

Blessings,
Lunarose
Lunarose66
Rank 1
Rank 1
 
Posts: 15
Joined: Tue Jan 20, 2009 3:43 am
spam_b: spam bots suck ass

Re: My first severe spanking

Postby Sara'sGirl(SG) » Sat Mar 21, 2009 5:21 pm

I'm a little late to jump in here, but I think you're on a good track--context is everything. People DO do crazy stuff to their bodies, and you really aren't doing anything that won't heal, as Topper pointed out.

I've seen some pics of some VERY torn up backsides from spankings, and if you are brave enough to do a google search of it, you will no doubt find them as well. For that matter, I'm guessing that even just to find this place you must have seen some BDSM websites, and there is all kinds of damage that goes on to the body in some of those play instances as well. I find myself comfortable with some of those images, and flat out turned off by others. But none of them, in my opinion, is wrong.

I know that S would have a problem with breaking my skin, and she also doesn't like bruising me. For me, I"m not comfortable with actual freeflowing blood, but I don't mind bruising or even some light breaking of my skin.

I think the absolute bottom line is what YOU are comfortable with, and what your top is comfortable with. For me, whoever has the more "conservative" boundaries "wins" so no one's boundaries are ever crossed.

If your therapist can't understand some of that, even in say, a BDSM context...well, personally, I'd consider another. B/c I need a therapist who understands TTWD, or at least my enjoyment of kink, without automatically assuming that it comes from some deeply dark and unhealthy psychological place.

:rant:
Nic

Sing 'til you're breaking glass
or you're breaking down

~Idina Menzel

My blog!
User avatar
Sara'sGirl(SG)
rank 6
rank 6
 
Posts: 1064
Joined: Sun Oct 21, 2007 3:58 pm
spam_b: I don't like spam. It's gross. Meat in a can is wrong.
How did you find the board?: I found my way over from Punishment Board, which is a great site that you should all go see if you haven't already. But I'm too lazy to try to link it here.

Re: My first severe spanking

Postby GF1 » Sat Mar 21, 2009 10:34 pm

If you are really okay with it, then it is probably not a problem for you.

Small distinction I feel the need to point out based on my profession: What you have described is rather severe and in any number of situations would be serious domestic violence or battery. Your therapist is coming from a different position in your life than a bunch of anonymous people on a forum. Also she can be sued. The fact that she has a different perspective is not odd at all. Depending upon how you feel about therapy and how long you have been with this therapist, I would suggest not dismissing her concerns without further exploration. It is possible that she is not incompatible with TTWD even if she expressed some concerns. I am in no way making a judgment about your relationship to Daddy K or that you should stop what you are doing. with him.
User avatar
GF1
rank 5
rank 5
 
Posts: 598
Joined: Mon May 26, 2008 9:04 pm

Re: My first severe spanking

Postby Sara'sGirl(SG) » Sun Mar 22, 2009 6:09 am

Thanks, GF, you make good points. :) And I kept coming back to this post wondering if I'd been too dismissive of said therapist, so I'm glad you stopped in to mention it.
Nic

Sing 'til you're breaking glass
or you're breaking down

~Idina Menzel

My blog!
User avatar
Sara'sGirl(SG)
rank 6
rank 6
 
Posts: 1064
Joined: Sun Oct 21, 2007 3:58 pm
spam_b: I don't like spam. It's gross. Meat in a can is wrong.
How did you find the board?: I found my way over from Punishment Board, which is a great site that you should all go see if you haven't already. But I'm too lazy to try to link it here.

Re: My first severe spanking

Postby Lunarose66 » Sun Mar 22, 2009 4:30 pm

I actually just meant that as a little joke. My therapist is awesome! She is supportive of TTWD. She just didn't have the personal experience to make any sort of judgement about my conflictions on the matter. You guys have the personal experience to give me some insight. She is also very cool about breaking certain rules in her profession like recommending certian alternative therapies that she's really not supposed to. She is also a certified homeopathic and she's not really supposed to recommend remedies to her clients, but we trust each other. I don't ever worry about telling her stuff about TTWD even though I know some therapists might possibly report it as abuse. She does have insight in other matters though. Not only does she support my polyamorous relationship, but she had personal experience with that type of relationship. I like that because she is able to give me advise about the dynamics of such a relationship that another therapist just wouldn't have even if they supported it.

She has actually made me feel more comfortable about TTWD. I used to feel like I was some kind of freak. I was afraid to go to a therapist because I thought they would tell me that I needed to overcome my fetishes and need for exterior discipline. It is too much a part of me to do that. But, she has helped me understand some of the things from my past that probably contributed to my discipline needs, and she has helped me embrace that part of me and use TTWD to help me and to improve my life.

Lunarose
Lunarose66
Rank 1
Rank 1
 
Posts: 15
Joined: Tue Jan 20, 2009 3:43 am
spam_b: spam bots suck ass

Re: My first severe spanking

Postby bodack » Sun Mar 22, 2009 10:14 pm

Lunarose66 wrote: She is also very cool about breaking certain rules in her profession like recommending certian alternative therapies that she's really not supposed to. She is also a certified homeopathic and she's not really supposed to recommend remedies to her clients, but we trust each other.
Lunarose



I am curious about your therapist's background. My first one was a PhD in psychology and was not the least bit shy about recommending alternative treatments like herbal remedies. What ever worked. She is the one who suggested a lot of my issues might be chemical related. In my case that means things like Aspirin or allergy medications since I don't drink and I have never been into recreational drugs. I am not dealing with her anymore because when it comes to DD, TTWD or TIH we quite obviously were treading on some very painful issues for her.

I am now dealing with her intern who is a PhD candidate but not bothered by the things we do . :elephant:
bodack
Rank 3
Rank 3
 
Posts: 140
Joined: Mon Jul 28, 2008 2:05 pm


Return to WWJD? (What would (Nanny) Jo Do?)

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest