I will post more stuff here as I think about it, but here's what came to mind when I first read this.
For me, establishing authority generally has to be a sorta spontaneous and even arbitrary thing on the part of the top.
Basically, any time S does something outside of what I've specifically asked her to do, in the way of disciplining me, it reinforces that SHE is ultimately the one in charge, not me. Now, I don't need that demonstrated to me on a daily basis (ie, she doesn't have to constantly be doing stuff I haven't asked her to), but there ARE times when I do need it, and here's how it has looked (in reality OR in fantasy).
--Maintenance spankings, daily, until SHE is convinced I acknowledge and respect her authority.
--Loss of privileges including internet, video games, etc
--harsher punishments for smaller infractions
--a refusal to allow me to argue--or an indication that any argument I even attempt to make is only going to make it that much harder on my butt (excuse the pun)
Stern talking-to can also work well. Often times, a single out of the norm spanking, possibly not even for breaking a specific rule, but just because she thinks I *might* not respect her authority, along with a lecture that says something like, "Look, you don't get to make the rules around here. You also don't get to skate around the rules. I suggest you do a better job of trying to impress me, because until you do, things aren't going to go well for you. It's on YOU to convince me that you are obeying the rules, to the BEST of your ability, and WITHOUT an attitude. Until you're prepared to do that, you'll have to be prepared to be spanked, because I'm not settling for anything less."
Those are my thoughts, and I hope others will add to this!
Great topic, JA!
Sing 'til you're breaking glass
or you're breaking down