What do I deserve?

SpankoNanny, WE NEED YOUR HELP!

Here's a section for those questions about discipline. In this case, we're *all* able to stand in for SpankoNanny, and we are all free to ask questions. Got a problem in your household? Check in to see what our good friend (but our firm, strict, caring friend) SpankoNanny has to say.

Re: What do I deserve?

Postby Sara'sGirl(SG) » Mon Mar 08, 2010 7:08 pm

:yeahthat:

YamahaBrat nailed it on the head!
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Re: What do I deserve?

Postby Eayore » Tue Mar 09, 2010 10:31 pm

Yes, I think so too - clearly the voice of experience and wisdom.

Iscountry20, my opinion (I think I said this before) is you need to consider how severe a punishment is desired. Five separate sessions are likely to be harsher than a single one. Another way to look at it is: do you want one big spanking to "draw a line" under all those bad things in one go - or do you feel the need to "suffer" over an extended period, in the hope that it will focus your mind on making a permanent change for the future?

YamahaBrat, pardon me for asking - but did you change your name on the board (if so, what was it before?)
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Re: What do I deserve?

Postby BickaBecka » Tue Mar 09, 2010 11:45 pm

viewtopic.php?f=16&t=866

YamahaBrat wrote:Here's a test post to make sure my new name, avatar, and signature are all showing up properly. For those who don't know, I was Shelly before. I decided I like all the names that are fun and made-up, so I chose one that describes me. I ride a Yamaha, and I am a brat.
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Re: What do I deserve?

Postby Homeatlast » Wed Mar 10, 2010 5:14 pm

Ok can we have an embargo on name changes now please? A girl goes away for a short time and everyone has changed their name or changed it back again. Anymore of it and I am changing mine to 'Perpetually Confused'. So there!

:nanana:
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Re: What do I deserve?

Postby BickaBecka » Wed Mar 10, 2010 5:40 pm

:yeahthat:

I'm with Nick... it's getting jolly confusing around here!
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you just keep on trying till you run out of cake.
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Re: What do I deserve?

Postby YamahaBrat » Wed Mar 10, 2010 6:55 pm

LMAO. Eayore, I take it your question has been answered? I used to be Shelly on this board. I like my new name much better.
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Re: What do I deserve?

Postby lscountry20 » Thu Mar 11, 2010 6:28 pm

Eayore wrote:Iscountry20, my opinion (I think I said this before) is you need to consider how severe a punishment is desired. Five separate sessions are likely to be harsher than a single one. Another way to look at it is: do you want one big spanking to "draw a line" under all those bad things in one go - or do you feel the need to "suffer" over an extended period, in the hope that it will focus your mind on making a permanent change for the future?


Well, I would really like the line drawn in the sand and the past to be gone. But its not. There have been minor temper tantrums that he has quickly punished me for, they hurt, I went to sleep and the next day all but the sorenss, swelling, and bruising was gone. These are much more serious offenses in both his mind and mine. It just really sucks to have a new paddle in the house, and no inclination as to when he is going to use it, and how many times. Really, the waiting is doing some major damage to my ability to focus on life! If you are going to give someone a spanking just do it. He won't let it be put aside, I've asked, and he won't do it, I've asked. He just says he has to go back to that point in time so that he can retrieve his anger. I'm willing to take it all at once, or 5 different sessions in 5 days, or 5 different sessions in one day. I just want it done and the line drawn. I thought if I could tell him he doesn't need to be angry and told him this is what others of done, then that would help him finish his task. Has anyone else had to wait an extremely long time to get spanked...whats the longest you have had a spanking being held over your head and been reminded that it is there.
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Re: What do I deserve?

Postby Eayore » Thu Mar 11, 2010 8:26 pm

To be honest, I have never kept count of the number of days, but the experience of waiting for a spanking I know I deserve is very familiar to me. Sometimes it just never happens but I 'never' stop wanting to get it over with. For me, the only way to deal with this is to get on with life and know that it will happen if it is meant to happen. The waiting is part of the punishment in a way.
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Re: What do I deserve?

Postby Eayore » Thu Mar 11, 2010 8:35 pm

Welcome back, YamahaBrat. Nice to hear from you again. I'm not sure why I missed your earlier post explaining your name change.
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Re: What do I deserve?

Postby YamahaBrat » Fri Mar 12, 2010 2:00 am

whats the longest you have had a spanking being held over your head

I feel sorry for you having to wait and wait and never know when (or if) it's going to happen. I believe that would make me feel very neglected. I would say four or five weeks is the longest I have ever had to wait and that was because he was out of town. If he's home, he has never made me wait long--usually just until we have privacy, which is sometimes three or four days. He has been known to make me wait a day longer than I expect (gah--TORTURE!), which under our new rules is really, really hard for me, 'cause I'm famous for wanting to know when, with what, how hard, how many--and I'm not allowed to ask anymore...and dammit, that was MY stupid suggestion, LOL! Part of turning the control over to him, but dang it's hard!

As for soreness the next day, not all implements will do that. For me, soreness usually means bruises. We have a hairbrush that leaves nice little bruises, and a very sturdy wooden spoon as well. Usually, for me to be sore, it's a long spanking with multiple implements and he focuses a lot of it on my tender sit spot (right underneath, where the butt meets up with the thigh) with the smaller ones (not the big paddles, I mean--those go on the fleshy parts of the booty). Most of the implements we own are capable of bruising, depending on how he uses them.

Speaking of soreness and bruising, I have a question of my own. I have read that a lexan paddle stings like mad, but doesn't bruise much compared to other implements that cause the same amount of pain. We do not have one, and I was wondering what people here's experience has been with lexan.

Sweetie, I do hope your boyfriend will go ahead and get it over with for you. I believe a stern man delivering a hard, deliberate, no-nonsense spanking can make a very memorable impression, especially if the recipient is in the right frame of mind to accept it. I echo what others have said about spanking in anger--it goes against conventional wisdom. He could hurt you a lot more than he means to, intends to, or wants to.
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Re: What do I deserve?

Postby GF1 » Fri Mar 12, 2010 2:25 am

We do not usually postpone spankings for very long or at all. If it is one I have asked for. I sometimes have to wait for T to get finished with work or whatever before she will focus on me, but in general it is not more than a few hours and usually not even that. If T put spankings off, I would never get one them because she would simply forget, especially if they were her decision rather than my request. I find the anger part concerning and I hope you and your partner have talked it through.
Our lexan paddle does not bruise me and it is one of the few implements that we use for discipline alone (along with those damn switches). Ours is not very thick, but it is wicked. I cannot say the lexan could never bruise anyone, just not me. It may have left a small light bruise or two, but not deep and nothing like the wooden spoon or even the hairbrush, and I am not certain if the light bruising was not caused by another implement used during the same spanking.
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Re: What do I deserve?

Postby JigsawAnalogy » Fri Mar 12, 2010 11:15 am

in terms of pain lasting, for me it seems to be more about my mental space or other factors that are harder to predict rather than how hard, or even if there is bruising. i've had bruises that i didn't notice, or times with no bruising when my back side was tender as could be.

i find that the less warm-up, the more likely the pain is to linger, so that's a consideration.

as for how long i've had to wait... i think i had to wait a week or more last spring for a (non-spanking) punishment to be delivered. w was furious with me for the infraction, and wanted to cool off before she gave the punishment. that one was hard.

however, similar to t, often times if w delays a punishment, she forgets to give it at all, and that is frustrating. we've got a rule at this point where if i have to remind her (courteously and appropriately) more than three times, i don't need to be punished for that offense. it's happened that way several times since the rule was instituted. but that works out better for me, personally, than having to remind her repeatedly, suspecting strongly that if i didn't say anything, i would avoid the punishment.
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Re: What do I deserve?

Postby GF1 » Fri Mar 12, 2010 11:33 am

T generally will not spank me at all if she is hurt by something I have said to her nor if she is actively angry, although that is rare in and of itself for her. If she is angry or very upset, she will wait to cool off, which usually does not take her all that long, hours at the most. The motorcycle incidents being somewhat an exception because that really does tick her off and the night I was not wearing a helmet, she was upset, but even then she sent me upstairs to wait for about 20 or 30 minutes before she came up to deal with me and by then she was calm in handing out the spanking.

I am not usually sore longer than a day after a punishment spanking and usually not even that long. Some implements leave marks, like switches that leave weals, longer than they hurt. Much bruising causes T to be uncomfortable, so that is pretty rare for us.
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Re: What do I deserve?

Postby Sara'sGirl(SG) » Fri Mar 12, 2010 4:45 pm

S is very similar to T and others. If she is hurt by something I've done, I almost certainly won't be spanked for it, and if she is angry, I'll have to wait until she's calm. Sometimes due to life and such, I've had to wait a few days, which is sucky indeed! Typically, though, if it were a situation where it was weeks before I got spanked, I think I would end up not being spanked at all. Because the longer it takes (past a few days) the more removed *I* am from the incident, and the less likely I am to change my behavior based on the spanking, I think.
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Re: What do I deserve?

Postby Eayore » Sat Mar 13, 2010 7:53 am

My experience of the lexan paddle is similar to GF's. I can't recall ever being bruised by it, but it is pretty effective at delivering a good spanking.

Also, P does not spank when she is angry with me. This did happen once, and it is not something I would want to repeat (contrary to my fantasy, where this is the pinnacle of great punishment, in real life it was not a nice experience).

To be fair, though, I am not sure Iscountry20's boyfriend wants to deliver a really angry, uncontrolled spanking. Perhaps he is simply reflecting that this needs punishment taken to a higher level, and is finding it hard to do that unless he gets in touch with the way he felt at the time about the rather dangerous episodes of running away? If so, I can't help thinking that the longer he waits, the less likely he is to recapture the feeling.

In that case (and I admit this may be way off beam), it might be a better idea to set a time for the big spanking, and then spend a little time before starting, to remind himself why this is needed.
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