About the culture of this board

Whether we call it "domestic discipline" or "rules" or "structure" or just "getting our needs met." This is a spot for those meta discussions about what it is that we do.

About the culture of this board

Postby JigsawAnalogy » Sun Sep 12, 2010 1:41 pm

I have realized that some of the newer members might not quite understand all of what this board was created to do.

I started the board three years ago because I felt unwelcome on the other domestic-discipline related forums I found. Some of them simply didn't have a space for someone in a same-sex relationship. On another, I was told that my relationship couldn't possibly be domestic discipline, because domestic discipline could only happen between a male HoH and a female bottom. In yet another, my posts were moved to the BD/SM section for much the same reason--if I wasn't in a heterosexual relationship, then this thing that I and W do could only be sexual.

My goal in creating the board was to make a place where people with a wide range of experiences were welcome. This is the place to come for people in same-sex relationships, and for people with female top/male bottom dynamics, and for people in more poly-type relationships, and, of course, for people with the traditional male top/female bottom dynamic. The board is open, as it says, to anyone who is an adult who uses some form of external discipline in their life.

I called the board "This Thing We Do" because my goal was to leave definitions pretty open. We each define this in our own ways. We do things differently from each other, and that is okay. For some of us, ttwd is very close to BD/SM, while for others of us, it's a simple arrangement where one or more members in a partnership receives external consequences for particular behaviors. It is not always--or even often--a D/s relationship, or a relationship with a Head of Household, or a relationship with a consistent dynamic between partners.

One of the founding principles of this forum is that we are non-judgmental. While we might comment if someone is describing an interaction that seems abusive, and while we might make suggestions, we really do *not* say that someone is doing something the "wrong" way. This board was created for people who wanted a space where they could do this thing we do in whatever way works best for them. Just about the only thing that carries across all of the various relationships represented on this board is the need for communication. Anything else, I leave to the members of other relationships to define for themselves.

I would like to remind everyone that the main rules here are don't spam, be a decent human being, and don't tell other people that there's one right way to do things. There are plenty of places you can go in the vast internet where you are free to tell other people they're doing it wrong, or that you know more about how their relationship works than they do. This is a space where that's not okay. Feel free to say what works for you, but be aware that what works for you might not work for the other people here.
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JigsawAnalogy
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