Clearing up a Misconception I Had

Whether we call it "domestic discipline" or "rules" or "structure" or just "getting our needs met." This is a spot for those meta discussions about what it is that we do.

Re: Clearing up a Misconception I Had

Postby blackbird » Sat Oct 19, 2013 4:12 am

That sounds like a confusing mixture - one I recognise. It's hard to know when to take control and when not to. How awful what your ex did! Not to even talk about it so that you could make sense of it. No wonder you filled in the gaps... I have been very shocked in my current relationship how control and anger have ruled my relationships in the past. It's only over T's knee and the general dominance he displays that I put some of it down, allow out my small, more vulnerable parts. I wouldn't describe it as laid back, more safe and held. And it stops me attacking his areas of struggle in that "if you want something doing....." way you describe.

I suppose your story has me musing on what the desire for Ds leads me to. I have chosen a man who is not particularly easy to fathom either. He is now in therapy which helps, but much of his dominant nature appears to keep me at arms' length as much as bring me close to him. And I struggle to open up fully, which submission gets me closer to. Very much work in progress the two of us. But I believe our sexuality has a message, an answer, a key to our deeper being so I keep faith with that.

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Re: Clearing up a Misconception I Had

Postby Eayore » Sun Oct 20, 2013 5:04 pm

A really interesting discussion. Thank you both for that.

Lady S, I am horrified to read about your ex and the divorce papers served after dinner. Yuk!
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