I just stumbled onto this site today, and it seems like a great resource! A lot of the other sites dedicated to this type of relationship seem to be geared towards the Christian lifestyle (which I have no problem with, but I am an atheist) and male HOH, which is not us. My wife and I are fairly new to the DD scene, and are trying to figure it out as we go. In most aspects of our relationship we are completely equal. we both share financial responsibility for our bills/expenses, both do a good amount of the chores around the house, and in general neither takes on an overly dominant role. We started out by incorporating spanking into our lovemaking, and quickly realized that I loved being spanked and she loved doing the spanking. After a couple months we completely destroyed a cheapo fake leather paddle we had gotten from the local adult toy store, and that was just as part of our foreplay, not serious discipline!
I had wanted to bring spanking into our daily life, not in a sexual way, but as a way of helping me to be a better husband. In general I am a very good husband. I try to pick up around the house, I do a lot of the cooking (my wife gets home from work in the evenings and I work overnights so I am in a better position to get dinner ready), and am a pretty thoughtful guy. With that in mind, I can be a huge procrastinator and sometimes am a little bit lazy! On the odd occasion I truly let my wife down I wanted her to have a way to help motivate me to be a better husband for her. With the destruction of our paddle I saw an opportunity: I ordered a couple serious paddles from cane-iac and when they arrived talked to my wife about what I wanted. She was intrigued and willing to try it out.
One thing that we have been struggling with, which I think a lot of people deal with at first is my wife is afraid of hurting me. We have had many conversations about this, and my viewpoint is that if I have done something bad enough to warrant a punishment it should hurt me... it should be a physical reminder that goes with me after the punishment is done that helps me stay focused on being the best husband I can be. Each punishment I get is closer and closer to the level I feel I need to be at, so I am confident we will be there soon. In fact this morning I woke up and still had a tiny mark on my butt from last night's session. When I showed it to my wife she smiled just a little bit an said she was proud of it!
I have a lot of questions that I think you all will be able to help me with, but I will save them for another day. I just wanted to give you a little backstory on ttwd and why I am here! I'm very glad I found this site!