Resources for reluctant tops who don't READ?

Whether we call it "domestic discipline" or "rules" or "structure" or just "getting our needs met." This is a spot for those meta discussions about what it is that we do.

Resources for reluctant tops who don't READ?

Postby Ice-cream » Tue Jul 10, 2012 7:49 am

I'm the one in my relationship with an interest in dd, and I've ended up in the slightly frustrating position of knowing more about it than my husband. He's not a great reader, and while he's happy enough to indulge my madness, this isn't something that would tickle his interest.
And he's really not open to being told what to do. Not by me and certainly not by some "weird Internet creep".

Basically he's happy enough to try something in the confines of our bedroom/ relationship/ lives. He's not interested in following the rules of an alternative lifestyle or belonging in any sense to a group. I'm with him on this ( but that's a post for another day) but at the same time I think there are things he could learn too.

But it's not going to happen! So I wondered if anyone had any suggestions of other kinds of resources that might be useful to a relatively new top. I know he would happily watch a spanking video. Ideally I'd like to
Find some where I could say ( I like the way he... Lectures/ gives her time to breathe/ pushes through her resistance...) but anything I've seen myself has just seemed either creepy, or weird. Maybe all spanking is creepy and weird to the outsider!
( I hope it's ok to ask for this. Not meaning to violate any forum rules)

I'd also really love to find some mainstream films with ahem thought provoking moments. Not just out and out spanking, but do you ever find yourself thinking, " he could have saved himself a world of trouble if he'd spanked her right then"?
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Re: Resources for reluctant tops who don't READ?

Postby JigsawAnalogy » Tue Jul 10, 2012 10:28 am

Not long after we started TTWD, W and I started noticing that some of our friends and loved ones could really benefit from some discipline. Not what you're looking for, but it did mean we brought things up in conversation more often.

I think a list of movies to prompt conversations is a great idea--I don't have any in mind, but I know it's something other people have looked for.
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Re: Resources for reluctant tops who don't READ?

Postby LadyShriver1 » Tue Jul 10, 2012 9:52 pm

I wish I had something more productive to contribute, but all the videos I found were also weird, if not creepy. I love the movie Secretary, but it really has only limited aspects of DD that are realistic or shareable. I will be interested to see what anyone else posts in regard to good videos or movies.
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Re: Resources for reluctant tops who don't READ?

Postby artlover » Tue Jul 10, 2012 10:51 pm

I have seen excerpts from some movies that might be ok, but is it hard to tell. I think Shadow Lane probably is a good place to try. From the descriptions, I am sure some of their movies have some scenes that would fit the bill. I have only seen two, and I I don't remember them that much to recommend them wholeheartedly. But my recollection is that this one was pretty domestic, in the sense that you could believe it was a real couple with real affection for each other (if you click on the continue button, you will cycle through stills from the movie. It has, IMO, the right ending: he spankee ends up in the spankers arms, who is carrying her off to bed. (this was before they started doing more "explicit" movies.

http://www.shadowlane.com/129-1.html


One series that ought to be good is the "bodyguard" series with Amelia Jane Rutherford (also known as Ariel Anderssen). She has done a couple similar, all for Firm Hand Spanking I think. She plays a spoiled star who is assigned to a strict bodyguard who disciplines here repeatedly when she goes out without him, loses the car, etc. I have seen a few seconds of several scenes, including one in which she is in a red negligee in bed that looks to be something . . . .

It looks like they end up married, leading to what should be a very nice wedding night spanking.
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Re: Resources for reluctant tops who don't READ?

Postby Eayore » Fri Jul 13, 2012 6:28 pm

Hi, Ice-cream.

I would say the only place that is really worthwhile for your husband to learn about DD is in conversation with you! In my opinion, there is no absolute right and wrong way to do it. If you are looking for being lectured in a particular way, or getting time to breathe between spanks, it may be difficult to find a video which shows it just as you want.

I'm afraid I couldn't give advice on where to find Man-spanks-Woman videos anyway, as that is not my interest.
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Re: Resources for reluctant tops who don't READ?

Postby bodack » Fri Jul 13, 2012 9:49 pm

I would have to agree with artlover that Shadow lane would be a good place to start. They used to have videos like spanking 101 and spanking tutorial. I would go to the site and e-mail Eve Howard with your original post and ask for her suggestions. I have dealt with Eve in the past, back before other sites drew me away, and she is very helpful.
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Re: Resources for reluctant tops who don't READ?

Postby Homebody » Sat Jul 14, 2012 12:37 am

I cant give any specific examples myself but you might try http://chross.blogt.ch/ for some mainstream examples. This guy seems to chronicle every spanking scene in existence.
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Re: Resources for reluctant tops who don't READ?

Postby Ice-cream » Sat Jul 14, 2012 7:53 am

thanks so much for the input - I know it's a ridiculously difficult thing to advise on really because ultimately it comes down to very personal taste.

JA - you definitely are on to something there! I think "conversation starters" are what I'm really looking for, and as you pointed out, the relationships of family and friends provide a wealth of material. Eayore I think you are right, about needing to learn from each other. And you know, after getting a chance to express a couple of things on this forum, I've found I'm getting better at communicating this stuff with himself. I'm realising that there are detours for some of the roadblocks, if I can only step back and look for them.

Thanks for the suggestions - and the tip bodack - now I just need to find time to check them all out.
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Re: Resources for reluctant tops who don't READ?

Postby Louise » Sat Jul 14, 2012 12:48 pm

MY husband prefers to do his own thing really. He isn't interested in reading about what other people do. that doesn't bother me most of the time. I did used to wish that he would spank a bit slower, and once or twice I did suggest this tentatively. the one time he tried it though, I found that him spanking slower made it about twice as painful, he seemed to be able to get in harder strokes when he went slower. i've generally kept quiet since then about his technique.

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