Less frequent discipline and keeping the 'fear'

Perhaps your household works without a structure. Go you. The rest of us mortals need to figure out how this thing works. This is a spot for talking about how we create the structure of our various domestic arrangements.

Less frequent discipline and keeping the 'fear'

Postby splorange » Thu Jun 07, 2012 10:18 am

Hello! I was wondering what people's experience with weekly discipline sessions is. I think it's a system that works well - you don't have to do it every night, which can be pressure - even though it's one that we're in by necessity rather that choice (my chief and I don't live together, and can arrange to have privacy to spank about once a week). However, I find that while mostly I'm okay about keeping rules, I'm just a little too lax in the last few days before a spanking. I've usually earned some by then and I start to feel that spanks are no big deal, thus racking up lots more in the final 2-3 days! It's not intentional, I just find it difficult to remember exactly what a spanking feels like and am slightly less disciplined.

Other than spanking more frequently, which at the moment won't be possible, does anyone have suggestions on 'keeping the fear'? Other people's frustrations and similar experiences will be interesting too. Thanks.
'I had made the mistake of powering up my consciousness without having the appropriate scaffolding in place'

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Re: Less frequent discipline and keeping the 'fear'

Postby Homebody » Thu Jun 07, 2012 4:55 pm

I think the secret to fixing the problem youre describing is to establish a scaled level of punishment. Basically, you need to keep the motivation by having their be something worse than the spankings you current receive for earlier infractions. I'd say you could either create higher penalties for more infractions at one time, or be more specific and create higher penalties for infractions that occur closer to the punishment time.

What those penalties are depend entirely on your dynamic and your tolerance for things. If you are a lighter player, id say turning up the intensity would do the trick. However, if you are capable of taking pretty heavy spankings and already do for your 'run-of-the-mill' punishments then its hard to increase it without risk of injury. If thats the case, consider embarrassing punishments?
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Re: Less frequent discipline and keeping the 'fear'

Postby Eayore » Thu Jun 07, 2012 7:35 pm

I read once that we are not capable of remembering what pain feels like (and this seems to be true, based on my own experience). Therefore, my best advice is to behave well - for its own sake, rather than to avoid spanking.

If that is too much, the alternative which sometimes works for me is to remember the EMOTION of what it feels like to be spanked.
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Re: Less frequent discipline and keeping the 'fear'

Postby JigsawAnalogy » Thu Jun 07, 2012 11:37 pm

I remember that problem, when I would earn a spanking, but it would be delayed... I think it's kind of natural to have an attitude of "well, what's a bit more added on to that?"

I can't say as we ever really came up with a solution. The year or more of not having much discipline meant that I got to a place of managing my behavior without the threat of a punishment, and now that we're doing discipline again, it's more about W establishing her authority than about me following rules. (I mean, yes, there are rules, but they're common sense and I agreed with them, so I pretty much just follow them.)

I have noticed that if we haven't had a more intense session recently, I do start to chafe a little, and push some limits.

I guess my advice would be having some other element added, if you can only do once a week. Maybe writing lines or corner time on the day of an added offense? Or losing privileges for each additional offense? Example: let's say your spanking is on Saturday. You break a rule on Monday, and the consequence is a spanking next Saturday. You break another rule on Tuesday, and the consequence is added smacks on Saturday, *and* you lose, I don't know, drinking privileges until the spanking is delivered. You break yet *another* rule on Thursday, and get added smacks, *and* lose Facebook privileges until the spanking is delivered. And so forth.
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Re: Less frequent discipline and keeping the 'fear'

Postby splorange » Fri Jun 08, 2012 8:27 am

Thank you all! Great suggestions. Eayore, that is what I try to do too - behave for its own sake. And I have some moderate success, but not as much. I think as well, you must be right about not being able to remember pain. It's always so much more horrible when it's happening, which is why i find myself thinking 'Sixty with the hairbrush? Bring it on!' and cringing after, oh, ten....

Homebody, I think you've hit on something good and I'm going to suggest this to my chief and see what we can figure out.

JA - great post as always. Your experience mirrors mine quite a lot. However, you are WAY too scarily good at this. :lol: I know I should take your advice, because it would definitely work, but I'm not going to.... :weasel: that's why.
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Re: Less frequent discipline and keeping the 'fear'

Postby splorange » Fri Jun 08, 2012 8:34 am

Just wanted to add, in case I offend - that's not to belittle your wonderful advice at all, Jigsaw! I just think (being a bit of a weasel) that I'd rather try something less scary first, and go with your idea if it doesn't work! Of course, if my boyfriend reads this and thinks you have the right idea then it must be!!!
'I had made the mistake of powering up my consciousness without having the appropriate scaffolding in place'

Marni Jackson, 'Pain'
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Re: Less frequent discipline and keeping the 'fear'

Postby Eayore » Fri Jun 08, 2012 3:38 pm

'Sixty with the hairbrush? Bring it on!' I like that!
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Re: Less frequent discipline and keeping the 'fear'

Postby splorange » Sun Jun 10, 2012 3:10 pm

Eayore wrote:'Sixty with the hairbrush? Bring it on!' I like that!


Hahaha.... I do too, until it's actually happening :hiding:
'I had made the mistake of powering up my consciousness without having the appropriate scaffolding in place'

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