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This thing we do • View topic - Change of structure

Change of structure

Perhaps your household works without a structure. Go you. The rest of us mortals need to figure out how this thing works. This is a spot for talking about how we create the structure of our various domestic arrangements.

Re: Change of structure

Postby Nat » Sat Aug 25, 2012 8:04 am

Thanks splorange - explaining what's happening does help sort out my feelings about how ttwd is working.

How is your new arrangement? It's been over three weeks since spanking changed from ttwd to (mostly?) play for you. Is it keeping your inner spanko fulfilled like you hoped it would?
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Re: Change of structure

Postby artlover » Sat Aug 25, 2012 1:12 pm

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Re: Change of structure

Postby splorange » Mon Aug 27, 2012 11:50 am

'I had made the mistake of powering up my consciousness without having the appropriate scaffolding in place'

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Re: Change of structure

Postby Nat » Sat Sep 01, 2012 9:29 am

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Re: Change of structure

Postby splorange » Sat Sep 01, 2012 3:05 pm

Yes, I'm doing a year's advanced study in the Kodaly Institute of music pedagogy. It's a joint performance/education diploma with the focus on playing piano with advanced singing students and coaching them. I'm actually just after arriving! In my hotel enroute to my new home.

As far as ttwd goes, we had good plans for how to make it work - once I'm settled in I'll give him my schedule and let him know what pressing school demands I have. And then he was to make some of the decisions regarding how I organised my day. However, at the moment I just don't want to do it at all. I can't feel right about it somehow. I've been reading a lot of feminist literature so maybe that's uppermost in my mind - at the same time I feel that what I'm reading is important and I should be reading it. At any rate, I love him so much that it doesn't seem necessary right now - our relationship is perfect apart from the thousand miles separating us! And it's impossible to plan how things will be once I'm into a routine. Everything is changing daily now and so are my moods.

Thanks for asking! I'm touched :)

It sounds like the ttwd aspect of your holiday was great. I love how safe it feels when you never have the chance to get out of the spanked mindset.
'I had made the mistake of powering up my consciousness without having the appropriate scaffolding in place'

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Re: Change of structure

Postby Lady Governess » Sun Sep 02, 2012 10:21 am

Oh Splorange! What an outstanding opportunity for you. All the best with that course of study.

I've read a little feminist literature in my time too and yu know what I think? Feminists have a tendency to cut off our noses to spite our faces. If submission empowers you in the region of the soul, don't allow a writer with different inclinations to rob you of that. It's your call, of course, but I learned a long time ago that political agendas generally don't benefit individuals in their innermost being.

enjoy that course though, whatever you decide in other areas.
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Re: Change of structure

Postby splorange » Sun Sep 02, 2012 10:55 am

Lady Governess! I don't believe we've met, but I've come across you in the back catalogue. Lovely to talk to you and thanks for replying to my problem :) I'm expecting it to be a great year.

I think you may very well be right. I haven't changed my setting on this site from bottom to regular registered user, because I know a bottom is what I am. But equally I need to put some thought into the form in which ttwd will work best for us. And I'm not going to start on that till I have a routine of sorts. I'm feeling very good about life and our relationship at the moment anyway.

I do hope you'll be online some more soon!
'I had made the mistake of powering up my consciousness without having the appropriate scaffolding in place'

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Re: Change of structure

Postby Nat » Sun Sep 02, 2012 9:50 pm

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Re: Change of structure

Postby altbob » Wed Sep 05, 2012 5:00 pm

Congratulations on the study year! I hope it goes well for you.
I must admit to mixed feeling on feminist literature. There seems to be 2 kinds. The "you can do what you want" kind and the "all women should be like stereotypical men in the 1950's, with men preferably being secretaries.".
I have no idea if ttwd is right for you, or if you personally are a bottom, Top, or switch.
When you talk about reading things that deal with respect and disobedience, I have thought about this a lot. To me, if you think, or your boyfriend thinks, that all women should be or naturally are submissive, that's a bit off. Or that men are superior/dominant/etc.
However, if your boyfriend wants a woman who is submissive, thats no more wrong than wanting a woman who is dominant. The same goes for you. People can want anything in a partner they like. They can't force a partner to be different, but everyone can define for themselves what their ideal relationship is. I personally feel if they are smart they'll leave some room for compromise in there. But tolerance and freedom are some things the original feminist movement was founded on.
Just to clarify, there are still a lot of feminists out there like that, I don't think they are all the mean ones. Feminism is like Christianity. There are some nutjobs who are way off in left field, and want to put all unbelievers to the sword. But thats not the majority, even if its who the media most likes.
Sorry for ramble, I spend a fair amount of time thinking about this to make sure I'm not being an evil bastard.
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Re: Change of structure

Postby artlover » Wed Sep 05, 2012 10:00 pm

I am no fan of feminism, as I understand it, and think that taking it too seriously would be fatal to any any Mf dd relationship. I know that many women who like hetero dd relationships have thought long and hard over how to conceptualize a version of feminism that would accommodate their desire to be disciplined by their male partner. I do not think most feminists would recognize this as a feminist position. I certainly do not think of feminism as being about women doing what feels right for them. I think of it as holding women's actions, and yes, their desires, to a standard that strongly opposes anything that is at all redolent of "traditional sex roles." (Not that male led DD is really traditional. I doubt the stereotypical 50s wife was spanked by her husband, though presenting wives as though they were was seen as naughty and sexy, rather than as ideologically abhorrent, as is often the case today.
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Re: Change of structure

Postby artlover » Wed Sep 05, 2012 10:03 pm

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Re: Change of structure

Postby lana » Wed Sep 05, 2012 11:22 pm

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Re: Change of structure

Postby splorange » Thu Sep 06, 2012 4:52 pm

'I had made the mistake of powering up my consciousness without having the appropriate scaffolding in place'

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Re: Change of structure

Postby artlover » Thu Sep 06, 2012 10:36 pm

Certainly, the feminist literature I have read is of an academic orientation, and largely has been in the law reviews. But, IMO, the statement "Feminism is supposed to be about empowerment of both genders" makes no sense to me. What is specifically "feminist" about that statement? If you had said, "empowering all women, whatever their views" it still would not match my understanding of it. But I don't see anything specifically feminist about empowering men.
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Re: Change of structure

Postby Nat » Thu Sep 06, 2012 10:58 pm

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