Corner Time

Perhaps your household works without a structure. Go you. The rest of us mortals need to figure out how this thing works. This is a spot for talking about how we create the structure of our various domestic arrangements.

Corner Time

Postby Sara'sGirl(SG) » Sun Dec 02, 2007 10:35 am

So, JA's mention of corner time in the "maintenance spanking" thread got me curious, as it's something I'd like to bring up to S in part as a means of getting me in the right head space, and potentially just as another tool in her disciplinary tool box.

So, for those of you who use corner time (or just for anyone who has thoughts on these questions) I'm curious about how it works for you...

Are you just told to go stand in the corner? Any corner? A specific one that you always stand in?

Do you get a chair? Or do you stand?

How long is corner time typically?

Is it always used just to prepare you mentally for a spanking? Is it sometimes used as it's own punishment?

Do you find it helpful? Difficult? Boring??

Thanks!
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Postby JigsawAnalogy » Sun Dec 02, 2007 4:36 pm

:corner:

Well, I don't technically stand in the corner, because the furniture arrangement in our bedroom doesn't exactly leave any corners not already filled with furniture. So I stand facing the wall. Given the geography of our apartment, it's generally the same section of wall.

Corner time is standing, with various degrees of being told where to put my arms (this, I think, depends on whether I'm clearly being resistant and playing little games with my fingers rather than reflecting on my behavior).

It rarely works as a stand-alone punishment. Kind of like lines that way--corner time before a spanking, or lines afterwards, help to get my focus in the right area, and help to reinforce a lesson. (Lines before a spanking are somehow less effective for me.)

The length of time in the corner tends to vary, depending on whether I'm in a space to be able to focus, or things like that. Generally it's at least five minutes, and rarely more than twenty. On occasion, I've had to write lines on paper taped up on the wall, while facing the wall. That is *TOTALLY* miserable, because there's something about the arm position required to write something on the wall that makes it really painful. Fortunately, that's not a frequent element of discipline in our house.


Corner time can be really helpful, or a waste of time. I've been trying to work out what makes it effective. Some of it is the tone W uses beforehand. If she can get me at least a little focused on my behavior, and how what I did was different from what I *should* have done, that can help. Not sure what all else.
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Postby DaddysLucy » Sun Dec 02, 2007 11:43 pm

Corner time has been a pretty effective punishment for me since we are long-distance. We experimented with me spanking myself if I misbehaved, but that was very distressing to me.

There isn't yet a ritual for corner time as far as location, but Daddy tends to stand me in a corner where he can see me, and usually he makes me expose my bare bottom to him. Sometimes I have to place my hands or arms a certain way.

The very first time he put me in the corner, it didn't have much effect, honestly. But now that our roles have solidified so much more, the corner is a very, very effective way to get me back in line. It reduces me to tears very quickly, and leaves me a very sad and contrite and sorrowful and apologetic little girl.

As for whether it's used on its own-- when we are together, the corner is usually accompanied by a spanking before or after (or both). When we are apart, sometimes the corner is by itself, but it's usually accompanied by me writing lines.
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Postby Sara'sGirl(SG) » Mon Dec 03, 2007 5:43 pm

Well, I was inspired to ask S to add corner time, and she did. :roll:

I spent 20 minutes in the corner yesterday. And oy. OY. I'm just saying, 20 minutes is a really long time. Well, actually, I spent 23 minutes, b/c she added a minute each of the three times she caught me moving. :fit:

I came out of the corner quite willing to snuggle and behave. I'm hoping to avoid it in the future. Though some how...ugh.

And guess what I'm NOT passing onto S? The idea of writing lines while standing facing the wall. I've already got a meeting with the belt coming to me, since I didn't finish the lines I was assigned (um, something I was already spanked for once, with the paddle, which apparently didn't inspire me. Dammit.). And writing lines taped to a wall just seems WRONG.
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Postby Eayore » Sun Dec 30, 2007 9:28 am

OneSong, these are some fabulous questions. I am sorry it has taken me so long to respond. Here are my answers, hoping you are still interested in reading them.

Are you just told to go stand in the corner?


Yes, but…… the actual words used are never quite like that. For a couple of years we have been using a code phrase, “go and do some pondering.” This is so P. can send me there without being concerned if anyone else overhears. In fact, she seems to find it amusing to tell me in front of others that I’ll have a chance to ponder about something later.

Any corner? A specific one that you always stand in?


Most of the available corners in our house have been used at one time or another. I have my favourite one, but if I go there I know there is more than 50% chance that I’ll be called back and told to go to another one.

Do you get a chair? Or do you stand?


STAND!

How long is corner time typically?


It varies between 15 minutes and 6 hours (but both shorter and longer have been known).

Is it always used just to prepare you mentally for a spanking? Is it sometimes used as it's own punishment?


Generally, it is used on its own. The reason is rarely stated. To be honest, I think its main purpose is to remind me of my duty to be “obedient and respectful” at all times, and it seems quite good for that.

As regards mental preparation for a spanking, this has been used in the past but hasn’t been for some time. Spanking in our household almost always means caning, and I have difficulty holding still sometimes – which I know P. finds tiresome. One solution she tried for this was to make me stand face to the wall for 20-30 minutes beforehand. This was only moderately successful, so she stopped.

Do you find it helpful? Difficult? Boring??


I have been standing in the corner since childhood, long before I met my partner, and it is the most effective thing I can think of, for making long-lasting changes to my behaviour, especially for breaking bad habits… and I would recommend it to anyone. BUT it “has to” be done in a particular way for this to work (length of time, complete lack of distractions, and a clear focus for why I’m standing there). When these conditions are not present I guess it is helpful as a reminder, but I sometimes think it’s a wasted opportunity.

Yes it is boring. (Of course!)

The only time I find it really difficult is when I am very tired, or (as I have found out) when I am under the influence of alcohol. Then it is torture. I just slump against the wall, and can’t wait for it to be over. This isn’t helpful, either.
:badmood:
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Postby Sara'sGirl(SG) » Sun Dec 30, 2007 11:05 am

Thank you for your thorough answers!!

I'm DEFINITELY not going to be mentioning to S that some people stand in the corner for 6+ hours. 20 mins is about all I can stand, and 10-15 tends to have me quite complacent and behaved.

S has taken to using this method when I'm being a brat, I think in part b/c the "brat" in me is usually trying to get a spanking (instead of simply asking for what I need). I don't think she likes to "reward" that. But she doesn't like to let me get away with being a brat either, so...corner time tends to refocus me, and make me quite willing to behave.

I am not allowed to lean against the wall either. Or move. At all. I get extra time added every time she catches me, though fortunately I have a military background, and I try to think of it like standing at attention...with a really strict drill sergeant watching from behind. ;)
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Postby Eayore » Sun Dec 30, 2007 10:51 pm

Well, thank you again, OneSong, for asking such apt questions!

I recognise the “complacent and behaved” state very well, although I’m afraid it takes me rather longer to reach it than 10-15 minutes.

I agree 6+ hours is kind of harsh. I would like to set the record straight that this is not exactly a frequent occurrence. The few times it has happened are usually when P. sends me to the corner in the evening, and then she goes to bed while I'm still there. She has to be fairly mad at me in this case. (Then she wakes up with a start in the early hours, and tells me to go to bed - as if she has caught me doing something I shouldn't!)

To tell the truth, when I hear her coming upstairs, not knowing whether my time is up or not, my heart starts to pound and I find the whole process quite exhilarating. I don't think I would ever have imagined it could be so much fun if I hadn't experienced it first.
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Postby JigsawAnalogy » Mon Dec 31, 2007 12:50 pm

On a slightly unrelated note, corner time in theory often makes me think of the Malcolm in the Middle episode where the mother sent the youngest kid to stand in the corner, and then forgot about him until the next morning, and found him there, asleep.

I'm lucky enough, because W doesn't make me stand straight, although I'm not supposed to turn around. Heck, she was even merciful enough the time she gave me 300 lines to write while in the corner, to allow me to sit down rather than stand.

I don't know how well corner time as a punishment for bratting would work for me. I think the bratting comes from such pent up something or other (never quite sure what) that I wouldn't be able to calm down enough to benefit from the corner time. Or at least it has seemed so in the past.
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Postby Eayore » Mon Dec 31, 2007 7:29 pm

JA,

I’m not familiar with Malcolm in the Middle, but that sounds like an episode I’d love to see!

If you don’t know how well it would work for you as a punishment for bratting, well … are you intrigued enough to want to find out?! I imagine W could give you the opportunity the very next time it happens!

It may be something about my psychological make up (introvert, meaning time alone is generally welcome to me), but I find standing in the corner helps to ground me – even when I am pent up. There are times when I really don’t want to go there, but I have learnt to do it without arguing because I know it will do me good (a bit like spanking!) ;)

However, if it’s not for you, that’s all there is to it.
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Postby Bridget » Tue Jan 01, 2008 5:44 pm

I've had corner time occasionally, though it isn't one of the things we do on a regular basis. When we were living apart I got corner time if he wanted to do something immediately and didn't want me to have to wait. Now it is also useful when he wants to do something right away but we can't have noise due to the children.

When I do have corner time it is always with my bottom exposed, often it is totally nude. He has never done less than half an hour, and I think two and a half hours or so is the longest I've ever been there. I find it to be physically painful to stand totally still that long, and of course time moves very slowly when all you're doing is staring at the wall.

When we were apart he used to tell me to stand in the corner, but since then he has always just led me there and put me there. It's always been clear that I was not to move until he said so.

I do find it an effective stand alone punishment but if it is combined with a spanking usually he will do it afterwards rather than before. Once he did it in between spankings.

It's definitely not my favorite. In many ways I'd rather be spanked than stand in the corner because it is over sooner. Of course when I'm in the middle of the spanking I would probably swear I would prefer corner time.

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Postby Eayore » Tue Jan 01, 2008 9:47 pm

Yes, I don’t mind the boredom, but the physical pain in my knees, feet and shins is the worst part in my experience, no doubt about it. I find it happens with anything past 2 hours or so, but I thought it was just me. I have sometimes wondered how soldiers stand still for so long on guard duty, and I decided I could never have done that job.

The “long distance” use you describe is also very interesting to hear about. This has happened to me occasionally when one or the other of us is away from home. Might I say, I really admire you Bridget for sticking with it, since you say it’s not a favourite punishment of yours? That would be the perfect scenario for my naughty, insubordinate side to come out to play!
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Postby Sara'sGirl(SG) » Tue Jan 01, 2008 10:06 pm

When I was in bootcamp (or my branch's reservist version of it) we'd regularly have to stand at attention for an hour or two at a time. Other than that, just so you know, soldiers don't have to stand at attention for hours at a time. That's just for inspections and the like.

For normal guard duty or whatnot, they'd have to not talk, but they could move and such.

If S told me I'd have to stand in the corner even for an hour I'd probably burst into tears. I HAVE however, learned not to hesitate at all. I may whine a bit when she tells me to go to the corner, but I start moving immediately--I HATE the corner, and don't want her adding extra time.

When I was at my parents' house over Christmas, I got "mouthy" with her (again, her word, not mine--I'm quite sure my behavior never deserves that descriptor), when we were talking on the phone before bed, she told me to strip down and stand in the corner. THAT was most unpleasant. Even though it was the middle of the night, and I was in the room alone, I felt...oy, miserable, and just a wee bit anxious someone would walk in.

10 minutes later, I was a very contrite and much less mouthy girlfriend.
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Postby Eayore » Wed Jan 02, 2008 6:23 am

Thanks for clearing that up for me, OneSong! I've sometimes seen soldiers standing guard outside Buckingham Palace and it looked like they were pretty motionless to me but I'm relieved to hear they are actually allowed to shuffle a little.

Being told to strip and stand in the corner on my own in my parents' house - now that would alarm me! I'm feeling a bit shaky right now, just thinking of it.
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Postby Sara'sGirl(SG) » Wed Jan 02, 2008 5:21 pm

Ooh! Buckingham palace guards DO have to stand at attention--sorry, I was thinking about US soldiers. Though, now that you mention it, ceremonial guards here in the US DO have to stand at attention for fairly lengthy periods!
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Postby Eayore » Thu Jan 03, 2008 8:18 pm

Thanks again, OneSong. As you probably realise, I don't know much about this whole area!

I wonder if one of those guards could give me any tips about the best way to stand still for a long time so it doesn't hurt?!! I don't think I'll be asking any of them any time soon, though - unless I happen to bump into one at a party...
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