First time spanking with housemates in

[Alison]

Here to share :-)

Danielle came over to visit a couple of weeks ago (ohhh it feels so much longer since she's been gone. Like months and months) and it was my first experience of spanking whilst other people are in the house (I have three housemates so usually at least one is in). No-one mentioned it and I don't know if this is because (a) they couldn't hear, because my room is at the top of the house (b) they heard but didn't realise what it was (c) they knew what it was but were too embarrassed to say anything, being British and all or (d) they realised what it was but are totally cool with it as modern, liberated, owners-of-the-film-Secretary. No-one was funny with either me or Danielle, so I am not really bothered. I suppose I am just relieved it was not an issue and I don't have to feel self-conscious about noise when spanking.

[Eayore]

Excellent! When are you going to ask them??!! Think of all the ways you could drop it into the conversation...

I'd love to hear how it was with Danielle, too.

[DaddysLucy]

Tell Danielle to post so we can hear from her, too! :-) I'm glad it wasn't an issue with your housemates.

When Daddy and I took a trip where we stayed with a friend of his a few months ago, we brought a rubber strap and he spanked me in the shower. (We took showers together, and were not secretive about it really, but it didn't seem to phase anyone.) For the future, too, I think there's a thread in the "Implements" section on quiet implements-- a plastic hanger works pretty well for me!

On that trip, Daddy did spank me once with the leather strap. I'm reasonably sure people heard, but these were people who knew the vague setup of our relationship and had dabbled in BDSM themselves, so I doubt they were phased.

[writegerl]

A. is planning on getting a Loopy Johnny, because of how quiet they are, but has said that he isn't too concerned about the noise anyway. I think he just wants license to use the damn bathbrush.

Nice guy he is, that one. :p

[Danielle]

I swear that message on the left makes me want to write a post with 60,001 characters. Thank God I'm really lazy.

So. I am pretty sure the housemates could hear us, but I don't care if Alison doesn't. I mean I don't want them to think she is abusing me or anything, ha, or me her. (I wonder if we asked who they would think was the spanker and who was the spankee.) But as far as them hearing, knowing or just wondering - its all good with me.

The thing I am having thoughts about now is; this trip was all well and good because it was all adults, the boy was not with me. The times that Alison has been here, she did not, would not, spank me if my son was home. And when she visits here there are lots of places for him to go. He spends time with my mom, with my sister, friends, etc. Understand that I would not want to do it when he is awake and about, but he sleeps like the dead and I am perfectly comfortable doing it then. Alison, not so much. So, what does that mean for when we live together? And living in a place where there is no respite from him? (Plans for which are in the works.) I don't want any of us to be uncomfortable.

And between Trinity and I sharing a laptop for a while and considering that he found a picture on my camera of lines I had written wrapped around a paddle which I emailed to Alison, I think he probably has an idea of what the deal is.

And. I don't waaaaaaaaaant the loopy thing, it scares me. So do hangers. And I have never been caned, but those scare me too. I think I don't like when the contact with the implement is really concentrated in one place. I like a more spread out wallop. And of course, its about what I like. Right? Right? Hello?

[Britana]

Danielle:

Let me disclaim that I don't know you at all so I may be way off base here, but your post got me thinking along a number of lines.

First, if you have never been caned, you should try it. The sensation is unlike any other I’ve ever felt. You are right to be scared as the pain is intense, but I find it unique in that the initial sting of the cane swells into a crescendo that fills your entire body a few seconds after impact. For me, the pain builds and spreads throughout my entire body in a way that no other implement I’ve found does. Also, I’d assume you would only do this with a person you trust who is experienced in corporeal punishment and the strokes can be easily modulated. For us, light strokes merely sting (without the above effect) and leave red lines that disappear in a day or two; medium strokes act as above and leave the distinctive twin raised welts on either side of the stroke that turn to light bruising that lasts 3-5 days; hard strokes very vividly engulf your entire body, leave distinct welts and may break the skin if the strokes cross (always to be avoided or carefully controlled), and results in deep bruising for 7-10 days. We “play” in the light/medium area, “punish” in the medium area, and have only a few times gone further for some very personal and significant reasons.

Second, we also have children and would never think of any spanking/caning/paddling when they are in the house. This is just something that we both strongly believe children should not be exposed to in any way and we don’t want to risk it. But, it does interfere with the process at times. We choose times the kids are at sleepovers, at school, or playing at a friend’s house, and have otherwise used this to find creative ways to punish each other with less audible consequences!

We also found this with rules being an issue. We really don’t want the children to be exposed to certain “mommy rules” and “daddy rules” or the concept of DD in general, particularly since in our case there are often sexual connotations. We believe this is something that they, as adults, can choose to engage in or not. This is similar to the issue many 24/7 dom/sub master/slave TPE couples experience with public places. People look at you a little weird when you avoid eye contact and say “yes, Master” or “yes, Mistress” in public! We try and come up with rules that can work in front of the kids and in public, and still be effective in our goal as husband and wife to better our relationship and demonstrate the love, commitment, support and respect we have for each other.

One example is the “please/thank you” rule that we both have. When asking the other for something we insist on a “please” and a “thank you.” Sounds simple, but you’d be surprised how often it gets lost between couples and how awkward it first feels in practice. It sets a great example for the kids we think, and still let’s us both giggle a little inside when we’re out and friends note how “polite” we always are to each other! Those moments drive us together and really feel great.

Eayore: Still think I'm not wordy and verbose?!

[DaddysLucy]

Danielle, I think Britana made a great point about the cane: A cane is definitely scary for me, too! (I think we've all seen one or two spanking pictures or videos of a caning that are absolutely terrifying!) Like any other implement, though, the pain you experience depends on the severity of the stroke. When Daddy and I first got the leather strap, he used it on me pretty lightly. Also, the first time we used the plastic hanger, it was really light and we worked up to my tolerance level. (For me, the plastic hanger is FAR preferable to the acrylic cane. I've never had a rattan cane used on me.)

If you and your partner want to try a new implement, you could try it in a non-punishment context, first. She starts off small and light, and progresses so you both know how it feels and how it affects you.

[Eayore]

Neat idea to try it gently at irst and build up!

Britana, 'verbose' is what I would call someone who hides behind a lot of words because they don't have anything interesting to say, or don't want to reveal what they truly think. I don't think that is you at all.

We have a similar thing about "not in front of the children", although when they are sound asleep in another part of the house, we do take a chance sometimes.

[Naughty butt Nice]

[Alison]

Britana, it is not your place to tell Danielle what she should try. By all means share how you feel about caning, but as for what she should do, that is up to me to decide (with feedback from her).

RE: spanking when the boy is home... it is not necessarily something I wouldn't do. He does sleep pretty soundly and given that we're doing bedtime spanking now as well as disciplinary, spanking when he is asleep is probably something that will have to be done when we live together. It does make me nervous, though. When I was first at Danielle's it was my first time spanking and I really did not need any more reasons to feel self-conscious! It was not really an issue then because, as Danielle said, he spends a lot of time out of the house, with relatives or friends. But yeah. He knows a lot more about his mother than most children (there is a drawer by her bed he is told not to look in and he knows it's because she has sex toys in there and he really does not want to see them) but I'd really rather him not overhear any of it. Same goes for sex, and Danielle is bloody loud, lol. He does sleep soundly but I don't know if, when we have babies, our other children will be the same. Ideally I just want to soundproof our bedroom! That won't look suspicious at all, right? ;-)

RE: Mommy rules/Daddy rules. No, I think we would steer clear of that sort of thing, although having said that, I am pretty damn bossy and I think there is no reason they can't be exposed to that. Like, I will insist my friends go to bed when they seem tired, and try and make my housemates eat fruit, and tell people off for not taking care of themselves. Thing is, because I am generally seen as a 'nice' person, it is generally seen as an extension of that I think, and people do not seem to mind me bossing them around because they know I am just concerned for their welfare. It's more of a fussing over people in the way your grandma used to. A lot of things that we have rules about are in that sort of vein, and I don't think we need to be overly concerned with coming across as DD if I tell Danielle she can't have another coke until she drinks some juice. Lots of people ask for help with diet/health-related things without there being spanky consequences or sexual connotations. Since I'm an interfering old biddy with everyone, hopefully they'll just pick up that Mum is just like that. We're also pretty clear that I'm going to be the more discipliny parent because Danielle hates that whereas it doesn't really faze me (I've been a teacher, so....) Obviously that doesn't mean they don't have to do as she says, but if they need telling off or punishments meted out, or deadlines/boundaries given, that'll probably mostly be me. Not that different to the old-fashioned gender roles, alhough given that we're both female, hopefully they won't grow up thinking anything to do with it being a man or woman's 'place' to do such-and-such. What do you think?

[Naughty butt Nice]

It sounds like you have things pretty figured out and that things are going pretty good considering the distance between the 2 of you. It's good to know that you 2 are planning on moving in together, that should make things easier and there will be a learning and adjustment period where there will be a lot of trial and error to see what works best for the both of you, but it sounds like you guys have the communicating thing down and that is the first step especially when there are kids involved. I wish you both the best of luck and I don't think that your children will have any problems with the whole male/female roles (in our house we share a lot of the responsiblities the only reason I'm the one who stays home is because he can make more money and I have more patience nothing to do with gender). I think nowadays kids recognize that the whole specific roles for specific genders doesn't hold up anymore. Wishing you the best!

[W-Jigsaw'sBoss]

Wow.

Alison-

you're an awesome top.

[Danielle]

Not to seem like I am bragging or anything, but she really, really is.

[Alison]

*blushes* Thank you.