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This thing we do • View topic - I beat myself up - so if he does it I don't have to

I beat myself up - so if he does it I don't have to

In a perfect world, discipline would cure all ills. But in the real world, not so much. How do we deal with those diagnoses that spanking just can't make go away. (You know, depression, ADD, DID/MPD. The thing a therapist would put on your medical record to convince the insurance company that they have to pay up, if you had a therapist and health insurance.)

I beat myself up - so if he does it I don't have to

Postby splorange » Wed May 09, 2012 12:41 pm

TTWD is pretty new for me - I've been thinking about it, attracted to the idea, for a long time, but was put off it for a variety of reasons. However, my boyfriend and I eventually decided to implement it and I'm on day 2 under the new rules. Last night I burnt a pot of rice. I was chatting with my housemates and not focusing on what I was cooking and the water boiled off. The rice was black. The pot was black. The smoke went through the whole kitchen, and it stank. When I threw the rice away, my eyes stung from the smoke. The pot hissed when I poured cold water on it. (Scene setting - it was VERY VERY VERY burnt.) I salvaged the pot by heating washing powder for about 2 hours and scrubbing it out, and my housemates forgave me for smoking out their kitchen. So all's well, yes?

Well, not really. This is where I would normally start reliving the situation, so that this time in my head I didn't burn my dinner and put a pot out of action for the night, this time I wasn't so careless, etc.... And good heavens all this for the sake of a hundred grams of rice. I didn't say I was logical. However, a pot of rice has the potential to ruin my night apparently. But instead, I texted the chief, and asked for a spanking. And then I forgot about it.

Spanking is coming on Friday morning. I've never felt better about future pain :)
'I had made the mistake of powering up my consciousness without having the appropriate scaffolding in place'

Marni Jackson, 'Pain'
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Re: I beat myself up - so if he does it I don't have to

Postby Sara'sGirl(SG) » Wed May 09, 2012 12:54 pm

Yeah, it doesn't work *exactly* the same way inside me (and I seldom get upset about food I burn, possibly since it happens so frequently...or maybe just b/c Sara likes food crispy--or at least she's managed to convince me of that), but I definitely get how being spanked/punished for something can help that ridiculous circle in my head that I sometimes just can't make stop on my own! I'm glad to see you are getting to experience this, and that so far it's working well for you!

:dancing:
Nic

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or you're breaking down

~Idina Menzel

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Re: I beat myself up - so if he does it I don't have to

Postby splorange » Wed May 09, 2012 12:58 pm

Dancing guy is so cute :) aw does Sara do that just so you don't feel bad about burning her dinner? That's so sweet of her!
'I had made the mistake of powering up my consciousness without having the appropriate scaffolding in place'

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Re: I beat myself up - so if he does it I don't have to

Postby JigsawAnalogy » Wed May 09, 2012 1:39 pm

I'm super careful about paying attention to food when I'm cooking. Not 100% perfect, but I know my memory isn't the best, so I think I over compensate.

Either that, or the time I was in high school and making dinner, and got so engrossed in the book I was reading that I burnt a pot of rice that badly, and my mother made me start reading more non-fiction as a consequence (she didn't seem to realize that there's plenty of engrossing non-fiction out there... but, hey, it was a total win for me, because there are a lot of books I never would have discovered without that "punishment").

I also have W help with things where I'd otherwise beat myself up, but I don't think it works as effectively for me as it does for some people. I have a harder time letting go of responsibility, and convincing myself that things are over and done with after a spanking.

Well, I guess it depends on what I did. There are some things that I can pretty much let go of guilt over, but some things, not so much.
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Re: I beat myself up - so if he does it I don't have to

Postby splorange » Thu May 10, 2012 10:30 am

Yeah, I'm with you there. For really important stuff, I actually don't tend to beat myself up too much. Well, probably if I let someone else down big time I would. But mostly it's just me, so I just get on with it. Relationships I used to, a whole lot.... reliving conversations over and over. Now, I think the biggest one is when i get a parking fine. Next time one of those comes along, I definitely think the spanking will relieve the obsessing.

Non-fiction is awesome. It's actually the only smart books I read these days... fiction wise I mostly read junk, so at least my brain's not turning to rot.
'I had made the mistake of powering up my consciousness without having the appropriate scaffolding in place'

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Re: I beat myself up - so if he does it I don't have to

Postby Sara'sGirl(SG) » Thu May 10, 2012 1:41 pm

JA that is a terrible punishment!! I *really* don't like reading non-fiction. Ugh. I'll read just about anything fiction wise, but non-fiction just seems boring to me. I have burned many a dinner b/c of reading.

splorange, I constantly think that Sara just *says* she likes crispy things just to make me feel better. But she does like her toast dark and frequently requests crispy (read: burned) tortillas b/c she says she likes them. It reminds me just a little too much of how my mom told me that my dog wasn't at home anymore because she gave him to a nice family with a farm where he could run and play with the horses (I was 25 before I realized this wasn't true. A friend mentioned that as a common euphemistic way to tell a kid their dog had died, and I was like, "no no I really did have a dog that went to a farm, my mom told me...") . But in this case, I think she really does like crispy/burned things. Luckily. :prince:

I can usually let stuff go when Sara spanks me for that purpose simply b/c those are some of the worst spankings I've ever had. She is very good at convincing me that no matter how guilty I feel about something, she has more than ensured that I've paid for it.
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~Idina Menzel

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Re: I beat myself up - so if he does it I don't have to

Postby JigsawAnalogy » Thu May 10, 2012 1:56 pm

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Re: I beat myself up - so if he does it I don't have to

Postby Nat » Thu May 10, 2012 7:13 pm

I don’t read ANY non-fiction, other than books on writing – I think living non-fiction is enough. :) :)

The one thing I beat myself up about is not paying enough attention to the things that matter to Liz, although I’m getting better at that. Fortunately – or unfortunately – Liz doesn’t spank me for that, although she does sometimes bring it to my attention when punishing me for something else. :grumble:
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Re: I beat myself up - so if he does it I don't have to

Postby splorange » Fri May 11, 2012 4:25 pm

'I had made the mistake of powering up my consciousness without having the appropriate scaffolding in place'

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Re: I beat myself up - so if he does it I don't have to

Postby Louise » Wed May 23, 2012 12:52 am

I would certainly get spanked for burning the dinner, but it would be because it annoyed my husband, for myself I wouldn't care that much. I quite often get into trouble for not concentrating on what I am suppposed to be doing.

I read both fiction and non fiction, my favourite non fiction is history.

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