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This thing we do • View topic - Not giving a specialist the full story...

Not giving a specialist the full story...

In a perfect world, discipline would cure all ills. But in the real world, not so much. How do we deal with those diagnoses that spanking just can't make go away. (You know, depression, ADD, DID/MPD. The thing a therapist would put on your medical record to convince the insurance company that they have to pay up, if you had a therapist and health insurance.)

Not giving a specialist the full story...

Postby bethannie » Mon Oct 20, 2008 12:20 pm

I have Aspergers Syndrome...(high-functioning Autism)...and thrive on rules. This can work really well with my submissive nature. Although it does require an understanding Top, because I can interpret everything as a command, and I also get really panicked when I don't understand something.

I'm currently seeing a new ASD (Autistic Spectrum Disorder) specialist. He was asking about how I cope, and why I'm not coping so well at the moment....

I'm currently unattatched, which has 2 major effects...First, when I get a major panic/anxiety/Aspie attack one thing that helps is a spanking. It refocusses my mind more than anything else I've ever tried! Helps me put things back into perspective. Makes me feel special and cared for despite my insecurities. ..Secondly, there's the fact that on my own I tend to be a little 'wilful'. For example, on the day of my last check-up I got nervous and didn't eat beforehand. When I got there I was told they were checking my blood-sugar. I had to explain I hadn't eaten, but would have if I'd had prior warning of the test. Now I should never skip meals! I have blood-sugar problems and know it! When I have someone in charge of me, one of the first things to get in order is my diet!

The thing is I can't exactly explain to the doctor that I don't need meds...I need control and discipline.

We talked in general terms about how not having a partner has thrown me off kilter, but I couldn't explain everything.

I hate feeling I have to withhold information, hide part of who am I. I have no reason to be ashamed! :argh:
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Re: Not giving a specialist the full story...

Postby JigsawAnalogy » Mon Oct 20, 2008 2:58 pm

that *is* really frustrating. it's hard to decide whether it's better to just come out, and let them know how things work, or whether they'll understand when you do. and it's tough to have to deal with someone who is otherwise helpful, who isn't able to deal with something that is pertinent.

*sigh*
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Re: Not giving a specialist the full story...

Postby bodack » Mon Oct 20, 2008 11:01 pm

What are your options for finding a new therapist if this one doesn't work for you. I had to do that with mine. I am now dealing with someone who is not that bothered by the concept of women wanting to get spanked. I still don't think the first believed that was possible except for the classic Masochist.

Bring it up and if causes a problem try to find someone else.

I understand how spanking can be helpful. Most forms of meditation involve concentrating on something. Be it breath, a candle, a mantra etc . Some involve tensing something and then letting it relax. That definitely happens in a spanking. It also burns useless energy that is built up.
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Re: Not giving a specialist the full story...

Postby bethannie » Tue Oct 21, 2008 3:58 am

I'm just getting started with this new therapist and would like to give him a chance. I need a GP referal for thrapists, and I've just left the last one I was referred to (We mutually agreed after 3 sessions that we couldn't communicate effectively).

You are right about the link to meditation. My 'therapeutic' spankings used to be quite intense. I needed to focus on the breathing exercises I'd been taught. It's hard to explain the concept of my headspace to those who've never ben there (another reason why this site is great!) but it is a very healing place. And then, a considerate Top talks me back down and deals with the issues that led to the spanking.

I sometimes think that spanking shoild be moe widely seen as an alternative therapy...acupuncture and homeopathy are becoming more usual....why not spanking?
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Re: Not giving a specialist the full story...

Postby Naughty butt Nice » Tue Oct 21, 2008 6:07 am

L
What goes up must come down!
Including hands and implements!
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Re: Not giving a specialist the full story...

Postby JigsawAnalogy » Tue Oct 21, 2008 9:00 am

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Re: Not giving a specialist the full story...

Postby bethannie » Tue Oct 21, 2008 10:28 am

I live in England, and am treated under the National Health Service - the benefit is, it's free, the drawbacks are that you sometimes wait years for a referral on 'mental health issues' and that you have to see whoever your GP suggests.
I used to live in Germany (I'm sort of dual nationality) and there you have more choice but pay for it through insurance.
There is always the option of going private - bu often this means seeing the same specialist, just not waiting for referrals. (A good friend's son was diagnosed with depression and put on antidepressants, but no counsellor was available for 18 months!...his parents paid for him to go privately to see the same counsellor and he had an appointment within 3 weeks) The British NHS system is far from ideal!

I agree that issues of abuse need to be taken seriously - especially if we are talking about ASD (such as myself), or depression, in fact anything that makes you more vulnerable.

I just know it has helped me. And 'therapeutic' spankings were always completely consensual...sometimes I'd ask for it, more often it was offered - never insisted upon. In this way they differed from discipline spankings, which whilst still consensual - pushed the boundaries of consent....in the best way!
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Re: Not giving a specialist the full story...

Postby JigsawAnalogy » Tue Oct 21, 2008 3:34 pm

i really wish i could figure out how to articulate how spankings can be a really therapeutic thing, even for (or maybe especially for) abuse survivors. there's something in being able to do things that are *consensual* that helps to heal a lot of old wounds. plus, i think that if someone is wired so that spankings are useful, it doesn't matter what does or doesn't happen, they're still gonna be wired that way.
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Re: Not giving a specialist the full story...

Postby Eayore » Tue Oct 21, 2008 5:45 pm

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Re: Not giving a specialist the full story...

Postby W-Jigsaw'sBoss » Sat Oct 25, 2008 4:00 pm

While I think we all here agree that spanking should be accepted and used widely, there are some ways you can discuss these needs with a therapist that are safer, at least in the beginning of a therapeutic relationship.

One phrase that we use a lot in couples therapy is STRUCTURE. I say that we have a verbalized sense of structure in our relationship so that we know what to expect and can help each other maintain accountability. It's also a great tool for dealing with gripes and resentments and such.

Maybe what you can discuss with the t is the idea that with the ASD stuff, you need an outside influence helping you with navigating the social world- helping you regulate your emotions, analyze social cues, etc...

Explain that not having a partner or close friend that you can "discuss" things like that with makes you feel ungrounded and unsafe.

More thoughts on that to come.


"I am loving, firm and flexible. Kind of like Lexan."
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Re: Not giving a specialist the full story...

Postby Jane » Wed Oct 29, 2008 6:34 pm

Welcome.

Another English woman with Aspergers - I reckon that's three of us.

I ought to post again about what's happening with me but I'll do that elsewhere.

In the meantime, I'm working on putting together a PM for you with my suggestions for talking to your therapist.

Has he offered you meds? If so what?

:welcome:
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Re: Not giving a specialist the full story...

Postby Shahrazad » Thu Oct 30, 2008 8:30 am

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