Beyond Repair

[Rose]

I've been MIA for quite a while, and I apologize for that. Hopefully what I'm about to post will help clarify why.

A couple of weeks ago I was diagnosed with bipolar II. I went to this counseling place and spoke to a psychologist there for quite a long time, and she diagnosed me. The way things work there is that I was then, a few days later, sent to see a psychiatrist to confirm the diagnosis and deal with the issue of meds.

I've been in and out of therapy for many years now and have seen lots of psychiatrists. I have a very negative history with psychiatrists. I even walked in on one snorting drugs very early on in my therapy-going history. But about a week ago marked the first time a psychiatrist basically told me that I am beyond repair.

I am still reeling from this experience, so I apologize if I am not entirely coherent. This psychiatrist asked about a dozen questions about my insurance and how much money my husband makes. Then he asked me what I thought I should be diagnosed with and what medication I wanted to take. I had a very negative reaction to the suggestion that I should pick my own medication, so he gave me samples of Cymbalta and told me not to call him if it didn't work. He said that I'd already tried every other medication (he didn't even have my complete history at the time) and that there was nothing more that he could do for me.

I'm completely shaken. I could probably write a post that was miles long if I really tried to voice all that is going on in my head. I don't even know where to begin.

Anyhow, as you can imagine, for the past several months I've been in a major depression, and social isolation is a big part of what I tend to do when I'm depressed. I tend to disappear. I don't mean to do it. I don't want to do it. But I always seem to do it. I just hope that none of you take my disappearances personally.

[bodack]

YIIIKES!!!
This goes beyond unprofessional. First I would complain to whatever board he is licensed by. This absolutely needs to be put on record. It will help you feel like you have done something.

Second try alternative methods. This site looks like a good place to start. http://www.alternativedepressiontherapy ... tment.html.

If you have read my posts you will know that I have been in therapy for a few years. I know it can be very difficult even with a good therapist.

Make sure you stay active. One of the first things my therapist had me do was see a new move a week. This was difficult at first but it got me out of the house and at least being around people. Finding a new place to eat every couple of weeks was another big help. Again very difficult to do but after awhile you get used to it and it gets you out of the house.


Be sure to keep us up to date.

[bodack]

Another interesting site
Margot Kidder wrote the article after her bout with bipolar.
http://www.alternativementalhealth.com/ ... ipolar.htm

[DaddysLucy]

Rose, I'm so sorry. That is so unprofessional. Is it possible for you to see another psychiatrist about this? I agree with Bodack about complaining to someone. To have your psychiatrist tell you NOT to call him if your meds don't work is insane.

If this interests you, I have a family member who struggled all their life with major depression, and has been on every anti-depressant on the market at one point or another. My family member took up cycling a while back, and slowly built up how much they rode each day, and is now medication-free and symptoms are low. I know exercise can do wonderful things for depression. I don't know your physical health situation, but any kind of outdoor activity is better than none. I don't know much about bipolar disorder (is it disorder? I don't mean to offend, it's just my ignorance) but this exercise plan has helped my family member when they were just out of things to take (they developed long-term side affects after a while on each one, migraines and stuff).

[Eayore]

I agree with what the others have said. What this psychiatrist said to you is completely unacceptable. I can only imagine how I would have felt in your place but I think the really important thing to remember is that this reflects on the psychiatrist, not on you in any way whatever.

[JigsawAnalogy]

rose, i'm just seeing this now, and i really regret that i haven't had a chance to read and reply sooner. i'm really hurting for you.

first off, bipolar is not something that leaves you "beyond repair." it is a disorder, and it can be coped with. if the psychologist or psychiatrist left you with the impression that nothing can be done, or that you're beyond repair, they really were not doing their job, or even behaving ethically.

you deserve to be treated well by your mental health professionals. one thing to be aware of is that bipolar is a "popular" disorder these days, and mental health professionals will sometimes jump to that diagnosis while missing whatever is really going on. i'd be a little suspicious of someone who was trying to diagnose me in our first meeting. but that's me, and that's in part because when i was trying to get diagnosed, they insisted my problem was that i was bipolar, even though i knew perfectly well that i didn't have the right symptoms for that.

but you also know yourself way better than i do, so you would know whether the diagnosis seems correct for your symptoms.

i don't know whether your health insurance covers mental health, or what kind of coverage you have, but if you have some level of coverage, try finding another therapist/psychiatrist. it's a major pain in the butt, but it does help once you find someone who can really be of use. then again, when i'm in the middle of a depression, finding a therapist is really low on the list of things i have the energy or motivation to do.

take care of yourself, and i hope that, if nothing else, the cymbalta works.

but, come to think of it, if you're bipolar, there are probably a whole lot of medications that they haven't even tried yet, because the meds for bipolar are different than for unipolar depression. just for the record.

[W-Jigsaw'sBoss]

That doctor should be publicly flogged, with a sign up stating what he did.

[Naughty butt Nice]

Kind of like on "The Simpsons" when Marge and Homer had to bend over on the side of the road and let everyone spank them as they drove by while Police Chief Wigum held the sign that said what they had done wrong.

That would be funny if that ever really did happen.

[Sara'sGirl(SG)]