It might be easier to tell everyone all at once...

In a perfect world, discipline would cure all ills. But in the real world, not so much. How do we deal with those diagnoses that spanking just can't make go away. (You know, depression, ADD, DID/MPD. The thing a therapist would put on your medical record to convince the insurance company that they have to pay up, if you had a therapist and health insurance.)

It might be easier to tell everyone all at once...

Postby BickaBecka » Sat Nov 28, 2009 8:38 pm

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Bec

But there’s no sense crying over every mistake,
you just keep on trying till you run out of cake.
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Re: It might be easier to tell everyone all at once...

Postby Homeatlast » Sat Nov 28, 2009 10:40 pm

Bec

hopefully you already know how much I care about you. It is fantastic that you trusted enough to share here. Take your time and ask for what you need. If I can offer it I will.

Hugs as always
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Re: It might be easier to tell everyone all at once...

Postby BickaBecka » Sun Nov 29, 2009 12:13 am

Thank you, Nick. I do know that. I hope you know I care about you too, and I think we both wish we could do something to help the other.

The trouble is... if there was an easy solution, I'd have taken it. Oh, wait... the easy solution would be suicide... scratch that, I'm not taking it. I'm taking the hard way. God help me.
Bec

But there’s no sense crying over every mistake,
you just keep on trying till you run out of cake.
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Re: It might be easier to tell everyone all at once...

Postby JigsawAnalogy » Sun Nov 29, 2009 9:44 am

i'm sorry about things being so hard. it totally sucks.

with ptsd stuff: people are gonna be idiots. i'd like to think differently, but people will either not have experienced trauma, so they don't always understand it, or they *did* experience trauma, are in denial about it, and so deny other people's experiences.

i can't remember, are you in therapy? with a good therapist, you can work on ways of coping with triggers and all of that, to help reduce the severity. once november is over, part of what i'm going to be juggling my time to do is adding more stuff to my non-ttwd website. there's stuff there already, but not much. i'm going to be changing the stated focus to be more about anyone who survived abuse, although i'll have plenty on there about multiplicity, because i had such a hard time finding things that helped me to cope with that specifically. but really, the coping-with-abuse stuff, and probably even the stuff i wrote about DID/MPD could be useful to anyone. because even if not everyone is multiple, i think that some of the approaches can be useful.

anyhow. sorry to shill my other site on your thread, except that i'd recommend you checking it out if you're having a hard time (browse through the links to the workbook, which i'm going to start inviting more people to collaborate on, and widen the focus there to anyone who is a trauma survivor, since i think we've all got a lot of tools we can share.)

and yeah, it sucks to lose a relationship. sometimes for me, though, it gives me the space to focus on healing myself, which can then lead to being able to find yourself in a much better, stronger, and healthier relationship.
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Re: It might be easier to tell everyone all at once...

Postby G.D. » Sun Nov 29, 2009 10:11 am

I feel that typing a few words on here is a rather inadequte way to express what I want .... but I'll try.

You have already coped with so much ..... I am sorry it has been dreadful lately. You are clearly really valued here (and I include myself in that). You have the strength in you ... hold on to it.
GD
two girls - one firm hand
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Re: It might be easier to tell everyone all at once...

Postby BickaBecka » Sun Nov 29, 2009 4:58 pm

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Bec

But there’s no sense crying over every mistake,
you just keep on trying till you run out of cake.
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Re: It might be easier to tell everyone all at once...

Postby Cinderella » Thu Jan 14, 2010 12:25 pm

Oh Bec i had no idea. i'm still getting through all the threads just trying to get to know everybody. sometimes i post, sometimes i Dont. its good you have GD taking care of you now. i really hope the suicidal thoughts have passed. i have tried to do it 3 times myself. But that was before my daughter was born.
Look on the bright side.
at least its only half empty :)
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Re: It might be easier to tell everyone all at once...

Postby BickaBecka » Mon Jan 18, 2010 10:44 pm

Thank you! They have now. I'm glad yours have passed too; they're not nice!
Bec

But there’s no sense crying over every mistake,
you just keep on trying till you run out of cake.
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Re: It might be easier to tell everyone all at once...

Postby jennygirl » Sun Jan 24, 2010 11:47 am

I feel so deeply for any person who has had abuse of any kind in their lives. My experience was not with physical abuse, but rather an extreme emotional abuser. This idiot told me I was a sick pervert for wanting him to be my Dom, yet he took my diagnosis of painfully manic-depressive (at the time) to new heights on a daily basis.

He did not want to be my Dom, but he did want to control me. With money, with sex, with visiting my friends & family. Everything was on his terms only...even what we ate for dinner each night. I desire to belong to a Man who takes control, who makes the big decisions & blisters my butt when I forget that I am a lady, but these things should all be done with love & understanding.

The Ex-Moron (actually I believe he is still a moron, just not mine) had his downfall in that he forced me into therapy and treatment for the manic-depressive illness. As I got stronger, and saw him for the abuser that he is, I began to realize that, while I desire to submit, I am well capable of caring for myself, and I do so quite admirably when I have to. The utmost good news is that since I had the good sense to ditch his lying, cheating, abusive ass....I have had zero problems with the mania or or depression. I don't even need meds any longer.

Be strong girls....with or without a Top, we can do this. We can care for ourselves. It is just much nicer when someone stronger than we is there to share the load.
~~jennygirl~~
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Re: It might be easier to tell everyone all at once...

Postby Eayore » Mon Jan 25, 2010 5:48 pm

It sounds like calling you a sick pervert was just another way for him to exercise control over you, and put you down. Not nice, anyway.
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Re: It might be easier to tell everyone all at once...

Postby BickaBecka » Wed Jan 27, 2010 12:52 am

Jenny, I'm so glad to hear you got out of it. It's interesting that it was from following his suggestion that you realised what he was like.

My ex from two relationships ago was not so nice... but a lot nicer than I'd previously been through. Funnily enough, she left me, not the other way round. Although, that might have been about my refusing to have sex with her. But I'm very glad of it... I don't think I'd have left her, and I'm sure things would have gotten much worse.
Bec

But there’s no sense crying over every mistake,
you just keep on trying till you run out of cake.
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