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This thing we do • View topic - Coping with the grizzly bipolar bears

Coping with the grizzly bipolar bears

In a perfect world, discipline would cure all ills. But in the real world, not so much. How do we deal with those diagnoses that spanking just can't make go away. (You know, depression, ADD, DID/MPD. The thing a therapist would put on your medical record to convince the insurance company that they have to pay up, if you had a therapist and health insurance.)

Coping with the grizzly bipolar bears

Postby G.D. » Sun Jan 10, 2010 12:23 pm

I have been tempted to write something about this for a while now .... but, oh, I do not know, seemed like some sort of betrayal. But I have asked Girl if it is ok and I think it might help me if I try and communicate what the :bi-polar: is like from my end. Girl also told me about a post she made in the batcave which has also acted as a spur.

I have known Girl for nearly 8 years now and from the very off she told me about the BP ... but we were living 100 miles apart then ... I was prolonging my youth by being an eternal student, it did not seem to matter.
BP is episodic .... most of the time Girl is very well; the fiercly clever, well read, witty, anarchic, loyal, generous, kind woman I chose to be with .... but there are other times, when the mood takes over, and this can be a high or low. A high usually comes first (the low naturally follows) - during these uptimes the intensity levels of everything go through the roof .... and thus anything that is a stimulus should be treated with care as it can ramp Girl's thoughts & feelings up even further .... she is being a very good girl and doing her best to remove stimulation. Me, GD, our ttwd relationship & this board all count as stimulants. Hence Girl's lack of activity ... hence Girl's tendancy to preface posts with :bi-polar: .

The BP bears affect the way she sees things ... her minds runs so much quicker than usual .... there is paranoia, delusion. I know that ttwd can help with a lot of mental health problems, but it is my considered opinion that it does not help either of us when the BP is such a prevalent force. Dynamics do change between us when Girl is ill ... and I become friend much more than anything ... I have to be the emotional punchbag - and this is fine I am strong enough to do this - but this is not compatible with ttwd. I once made a promise to Girl that I would never take ttwd away from her .... I never break my promises ... but if I gave her what she wants now I would also be breaking the promise to look after her.

I am sorry that it hurts her so much not to be engaging with it ... but I think this is one those times where a Top really does know best.
GD
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Re: Coping with the grizzly bipolar bears

Postby JigsawAnalogy » Sun Jan 10, 2010 12:41 pm

that sounds like such a frustration situation, for both of you. it's fortunate that you're both willing to be open with each other about what's going on, and that you think in calmer times about what is best when things are more chaotic.

i hope that DG's situation stabilizes soon, so that you can go back to having more of the full range of your relationship.

:grouphug: hugs (if you have no objections).
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Re: Coping with the grizzly bipolar bears

Postby Cinderella » Sun Jan 10, 2010 4:31 pm

Yeah thanx for sharing that with us GD. i have learned that only good can come from being open on this board. i Dont think i can say anything to help other than you are both in my thoughts.
Look on the bright side.
at least its only half empty :)
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Re: Coping with the grizzly bipolar bears

Postby Disobedient Girl » Mon Jan 11, 2010 6:04 pm

'love you in every mood ...'
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Re: Coping with the grizzly bipolar bears

Postby Disobedient Girl » Mon Jan 11, 2010 6:08 pm

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Re: Coping with the grizzly bipolar bears

Postby timsbrat » Sat Jan 30, 2010 11:17 pm

It realy can be tough to deal with for both of you, you seem to have a good system worked out. I live with 2 BP and it is rough, but its so worth it. 15 yrs for me now. Good luck and stay strong for both of you.

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