Urgh

In a perfect world, discipline would cure all ills. But in the real world, not so much. How do we deal with those diagnoses that spanking just can't make go away. (You know, depression, ADD, DID/MPD. The thing a therapist would put on your medical record to convince the insurance company that they have to pay up, if you had a therapist and health insurance.)

Urgh

Postby Homeatlast » Sun Apr 04, 2010 7:24 am

Easter day and I am SO down I don't want to get out of bed. I know I have to, not least because I am tired of my daughter seeing me like this - I want her to have a normal mum, not me.

It is exactly one year ago that I had a 'break down' or whatever you want to call it. I need so much to just get well and I can't seem to do it no matter what I try. My heart is just broken and I don't even know why.

Sorry to whine. I know many of you have your own demons to fight without listening to this. Today is just HARD and I needed not to feel alone.

Thanks
User avatar
Homeatlast
rank 6
rank 6
 
Posts: 695
Joined: Fri Aug 07, 2009 11:22 am
Location: North west England
spam_b: Spam spam chopped pork n ham. Not for me!
How did you find the board?: Whilst browsing other sites

Re: Urgh

Postby Eayore » Sun Apr 04, 2010 7:43 am

You're not alone, I'm sorry to hear you feel down today. Please try to remember all mums are unique; there's no such thing as a 'normal' one. I am sure your daughter has a lot of love from you - even the fact that she is in your thoughts while you feel so low, is testament to this.
User avatar
Eayore
rank 6
rank 6
 
Posts: 1721
Joined: Thu Nov 08, 2007 9:43 pm
Location: Ascot, UK
spam_b: What is a spam bot?
How did you find the board?: From the Punishment Book

Re: Urgh

Postby Homeatlast » Sun Apr 04, 2010 8:09 am

Eayore

thank you! It is good to hear another voice out there today. I appreciate your words and somewhere I know you are right but I am looking round me at the mums doing Easter egg hunts etc etc and I can't even get up. So right now I feel uniquely rubbish as a mum. I know I am lucky to have her and to have such a strong reason to get well - I am impatient to get there.

To top things off my counsellor is changing jobs and has to stop seeing me. I thought I was handling that ok - apparently not!

Thanks again for listening - hugs to you
User avatar
Homeatlast
rank 6
rank 6
 
Posts: 695
Joined: Fri Aug 07, 2009 11:22 am
Location: North west England
spam_b: Spam spam chopped pork n ham. Not for me!
How did you find the board?: Whilst browsing other sites

Re: Urgh

Postby bodack » Sun Apr 04, 2010 9:41 am

Changing counsellors is difficult. And breaking in a new one is a real pain in the butt. In my case I got some new insights from the new therapist. And she wasn't bothered by This Thing We Do or Taken in Hand.

Something that tended to push some personal buttons on my first therapist.

Make a list of things you have done to reduce the depressions. For me it is getting out and seeing a movie once a week. It gives me something neutral to talk about during the week. Of course they don't make 52 good movies a year but that is a different story.

And always take care of your health. :hiding: Couch, for the therapist
bodack
Rank 3
Rank 3
 
Posts: 140
Joined: Mon Jul 28, 2008 2:05 pm

Re: Urgh

Postby JigsawAnalogy » Sun Apr 04, 2010 2:13 pm

:grouphug:

depression sucks. the best way i've found to get through it is to hold on to the fact that it's just a feeling, and will eventually let up.

you do tons of great things with your daughter, and those make a difference (even the scary clown incident).

i hope you feel better soon, for your own benefit. this depression stuff sucks, and feels like it will last forever, but it really does ease up eventually. (mind you, i've gone more than four years since my "breakdown" so perhaps i'm not the poster child for how these things end.... on the up side, i've found ways of making the depression less overwhelming, and ways of coping in general, so there has been improvement.)

one other thing i've noticed is that sometimes i will emotionally think something is depression, but then realize that what's actually going on is my body trying to trick me into getting the rest i need with fibro/ME/CFS stuff. if i'm feeling depressed, i'm more likely to put up with staying in bed all day. when i'm *not* depressed, i get up and spend way more time out and about than i ought to. i know your ME went away a few years ago, but it might be worth a self-assessment if nothing else... at least for me, the depression lets up some when i recognize that the intense desire to stay in bed is more about my body not being up for being out than about actually being depressed. but then, i'm still stuck in bed, so it's not all that much of an improvement, except over how i feel emotionally.
User avatar
JigsawAnalogy
rank 6
rank 6
 
Posts: 2875
Joined: Sun Oct 14, 2007 9:44 am
Location: New York
spam_b: I am not a spammer, I *delete* spammers!
How did you find the board?: Hm. Well, I was poking around in my imagination, and there it was.

Re: Urgh

Postby G.D. » Sun Apr 04, 2010 3:18 pm

Oh dear ... sorry to hear this. I have no words of wisdom ... I hope you find a way to cope better soon.
GD
two girls - one firm hand
User avatar
G.D.
Rank 3
Rank 3
 
Posts: 316
Joined: Sat Oct 24, 2009 4:49 am
Location: South West of England
spam_b: Should we return to WW2 rations then Girl can make me Spam fritters.
How did you find the board?: Girl told me about it

Re: Urgh

Postby Sara'sGirl(SG) » Sun Apr 04, 2010 3:27 pm

Hugs, Nick.

Sometimes holidays are the most *down* days for me. The pressure to feel good and act "good" can be overwhelming.

I don't have any better wisdom than what others have posted already, but I wanted to say hey and let you know I'm thinking of you!
Nic

Sing 'til you're breaking glass
or you're breaking down

~Idina Menzel

My blog!
User avatar
Sara'sGirl(SG)
rank 6
rank 6
 
Posts: 1064
Joined: Sun Oct 21, 2007 3:58 pm
spam_b: I don't like spam. It's gross. Meat in a can is wrong.
How did you find the board?: I found my way over from Punishment Board, which is a great site that you should all go see if you haven't already. But I'm too lazy to try to link it here.

Re: Urgh

Postby Homeatlast » Sun Apr 04, 2010 4:56 pm

Thanks guys

other than when my dad was sick that was officially the worst Easter day ever. It is over at least and I am back in bed.

I appreciate all you said. Depression and Anxiety SUCK!!!!

One of these days I will be free of it - have to be.

Hugs to all and enjoy the rest of the holiday
User avatar
Homeatlast
rank 6
rank 6
 
Posts: 695
Joined: Fri Aug 07, 2009 11:22 am
Location: North west England
spam_b: Spam spam chopped pork n ham. Not for me!
How did you find the board?: Whilst browsing other sites

Re: Urgh

Postby BickaBecka » Sun Apr 04, 2010 5:12 pm

Oh Nick... *long hug*
I'm thinking of you. I know how hard it is, and I know what I am about to say probably won't be much comfort. It will pass.
Bec

But there’s no sense crying over every mistake,
you just keep on trying till you run out of cake.
BickaBecka
rank 6
rank 6
 
Posts: 638
Joined: Mon Jul 13, 2009 7:42 am
spam_b: This time, there's wetware beyond the hardware and software :P
How did you find the board?: Never mind.

Re: Urgh

Postby JigsawAnalogy » Sun Apr 04, 2010 6:17 pm

plus, now that it's over, you can celebrate the *true* holiday (and this is why i'm probably going to wind up in hell...).

the *true* holiday is chocolate-and-sugary-treats-for-60%-off day, which begins tomorrow. before the recession, there was a holiday i liked even better: chocolate-etc-for-90%-off. but they've been getting in less inventory the past year or two, so i no longer wait so long.
User avatar
JigsawAnalogy
rank 6
rank 6
 
Posts: 2875
Joined: Sun Oct 14, 2007 9:44 am
Location: New York
spam_b: I am not a spammer, I *delete* spammers!
How did you find the board?: Hm. Well, I was poking around in my imagination, and there it was.

Re: Urgh

Postby Homeatlast » Sun Apr 04, 2010 6:20 pm

Thanks Bec

hugs always help! Thanks for being a friend.

JA chocolate always helps too!!!!
:luvya:
User avatar
Homeatlast
rank 6
rank 6
 
Posts: 695
Joined: Fri Aug 07, 2009 11:22 am
Location: North west England
spam_b: Spam spam chopped pork n ham. Not for me!
How did you find the board?: Whilst browsing other sites

Re: Urgh

Postby Sara'sGirl(SG) » Sun Apr 04, 2010 6:20 pm

Confession: I've been looking forward to Easter all week b/c I know the candy is going to go on sale right afterwards.

:campfire:
Nic

Sing 'til you're breaking glass
or you're breaking down

~Idina Menzel

My blog!
User avatar
Sara'sGirl(SG)
rank 6
rank 6
 
Posts: 1064
Joined: Sun Oct 21, 2007 3:58 pm
spam_b: I don't like spam. It's gross. Meat in a can is wrong.
How did you find the board?: I found my way over from Punishment Board, which is a great site that you should all go see if you haven't already. But I'm too lazy to try to link it here.

Re: Urgh

Postby Homeatlast » Sun Apr 04, 2010 6:27 pm

Seems reasonable to me but then I am a heathen or pagan or some such thing!
User avatar
Homeatlast
rank 6
rank 6
 
Posts: 695
Joined: Fri Aug 07, 2009 11:22 am
Location: North west England
spam_b: Spam spam chopped pork n ham. Not for me!
How did you find the board?: Whilst browsing other sites

Re: Urgh

Postby BickaBecka » Sun Apr 04, 2010 10:15 pm

Well, easter was originally a pagan ceremony... :)

I do hope you feel better... chocolate is supposed to do that, you know!
Bec

But there’s no sense crying over every mistake,
you just keep on trying till you run out of cake.
BickaBecka
rank 6
rank 6
 
Posts: 638
Joined: Mon Jul 13, 2009 7:42 am
spam_b: This time, there's wetware beyond the hardware and software :P
How did you find the board?: Never mind.

Re: Urgh

Postby Sara'sGirl(SG) » Sun Apr 04, 2010 10:46 pm

Ooh, you're right Bec. It was a pagan fertility festival! My mom refuses to celebrate it now thanks to that (Christmas is very nearly out the door too. The family will be Jehovah's Witnesses before long if she has her way!--no offense to any JW's!).

Maybe I should suggest to my wife that we try getting pregnant tonight. Is that tmi?
Nic

Sing 'til you're breaking glass
or you're breaking down

~Idina Menzel

My blog!
User avatar
Sara'sGirl(SG)
rank 6
rank 6
 
Posts: 1064
Joined: Sun Oct 21, 2007 3:58 pm
spam_b: I don't like spam. It's gross. Meat in a can is wrong.
How did you find the board?: I found my way over from Punishment Board, which is a great site that you should all go see if you haven't already. But I'm too lazy to try to link it here.

Next

Return to Mental health

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest

cron