The problem this is causing for me is that, even though we've been talking about rules and discipline, there are plenty of times when he is simply unable to follow through because of his health. And since we don't know what he has, we don't know how long it will last.
I'm doing my best to take care of him. I love him and I want him to get better. But sometimes I feel a very strong need for him to take care of me, and during these times I have a very strong urge to act up in an attempt to force his hand (both literally and figuratively). I've been fighting like mad not to give in to this urge, not only because I don't want to put him through it while he's so sick, but because I know it would have a devastating effect on me emotionally if he weren't able to follow through. Which, odds are, he wouldn't be.
The even bigger problem is that this turns into a vicious cycle for me... I know that the anger I experience sometimes is normal, as I've been reading a lot about caring for a chronically ill spouse... But it is still difficult for me to handle. I get so angry that he can't take care of me when I've been taking care of him for so long, which makes me feel like an incredibly selfish and small person. Anger at myself leads to self-destructive behaviors (usually), which leads conflict between him and me, which would usually lead to punishment... But I'm trying like hell not to fall into those behaviors, which leads to frustration over how much I'm doing for him, which leads to anger, which leads to guilt... you get the idea.
Something's got to give. I'm starting to feel like I'm beating my head against a wall, and sooner or later, I'm going to burst.

Any thoughts? Please? I'll take whatever you've got...