Kinda Proud of Myself

Some of us had perfect happy bunny rainbow ice cream childhoods. Some of us had childhoods that were reasonably okay. And some of us were abused. Much as I'd like to pretend it has nothing to do with my life now, I know that those old issues can rear their ugly heads. Not to mention coping with the judgmental tone a lot of the "healing" literature takes about S/M, let alone the disciplinary stuff.

Kinda Proud of Myself

Postby Meg » Tue Mar 01, 2011 11:11 pm

I am kind of proud of myself and of Obsidian.

I have a history of verbal abuse from my childhood, so I tend to get triggered by verbal "stuff"...such as Obsidian being angry and verbal reprimands....*but* for the last week or so, I have been handling them ok, and I haven't been been fighting back when scolded.

This is a HUGE accomplishment for us.
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Re: Kinda Proud of Myself

Postby brightlyblaze » Tue Mar 01, 2011 11:54 pm

Good for you, amethyst! That's awesome. I hope this new trend sticks around for you :many:
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Re: Kinda Proud of Myself

Postby BickaBecka » Wed Mar 02, 2011 2:12 am

I'm glad to hear it :) This sort of thing can sometimes take away fears like that.... I'm glad it has for you :)
Bec

But there’s no sense crying over every mistake,
you just keep on trying till you run out of cake.
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Re: Kinda Proud of Myself

Postby JigsawAnalogy » Wed Mar 02, 2011 11:01 am

Yay! Sounds like progress. :cheers:
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Re: Kinda Proud of Myself

Postby TryingReallyHard » Wed Mar 02, 2011 2:31 pm

:soap: :brow:



;P


Kidding... kidding... :) Good for you!!!
~TRH
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The hard lessons make the difference, and the difference makes it worth it." -Fireflight
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Re: Kinda Proud of Myself

Postby Meg » Wed Mar 02, 2011 6:32 pm

Thanks everyone.

TRH..... :nanana: :pray: :-D
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Re: Kinda Proud of Myself

Postby Eayore » Wed Mar 02, 2011 7:30 pm

Congratulations! I must admit (dare I say it?) that soap was the first thing that popped into my mind when I read this too. I think it's nice that you didn't mention it yourself. Maybe the 2 aren't related.
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Re: Kinda Proud of Myself

Postby Meg » Wed Mar 02, 2011 7:46 pm

No... :soap: played a big role...you're right.

Although, so far I have only needed it twice after the first time. 0:) Hopefully, I won't need it anymore...but, well ya know.

There was a close call last night *after* I posted starting this thread....but we got through it without me getting any :soap: Whew!!!
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Re: Kinda Proud of Myself

Postby JigsawAnalogy » Thu Mar 03, 2011 10:10 am

I say that accepting discipline, and finding a solution that's effective, is something to be proud of. So even if the soap was involved, you are still doing the work. Kind of like if you need a walking stick to make a long hike, hey, you're still making the long hike, right?
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Re: Kinda Proud of Myself

Postby Meg » Thu Mar 03, 2011 2:41 pm

Thanks Jigsaw.

See...if I can stop the primal kneejerk response to snap back, then I can usually find a better way to handle the situation...but the response is often so fast, that there is no time for a better response. When I was about to go off...I the memory of the soap stopped me long enough to think through a better way of handling things. When that happened, and averted a few fights, I became less afraid, so that the next couple of times, the kneejerk response didn't happen.

We are not all there yet...had a minor setback, as I talked about...but in some ways, this is HUGE, because my inability to handle verbal correction was/is one of the major barriers to our being able to do the ttwd dance.
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Re: Kinda Proud of Myself

Postby Eayore » Thu Mar 03, 2011 3:43 pm

JigsawAnalogy wrote:I say that accepting discipline, and finding a solution that's effective, is something to be proud of. So even if the soap was involved, you are still doing the work.

I agree completely! Beautifully put.
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Re: Kinda Proud of Myself

Postby W-Jigsaw'sBoss » Sat Mar 12, 2011 6:38 pm

I'm proud of you, too.
W-Jigsaw's Boss

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:cheesy:
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Re: Kinda Proud of Myself

Postby Meg » Sat Mar 12, 2011 7:59 pm

Thank you. :blush: :)
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Re: Kinda Proud of Myself

Postby Obsidian » Sat Mar 12, 2011 9:25 pm

I am extremely proud of you! :-D :)
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Re: Kinda Proud of Myself

Postby Meg » Sun Mar 13, 2011 6:15 pm

Thanks, my love....you know, I am proud of you, too, for being tough and sticking with me on this.
:luvya:
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