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This thing we do • View topic - okay, I'll start

okay, I'll start

Some of us had perfect happy bunny rainbow ice cream childhoods. Some of us had childhoods that were reasonably okay. And some of us were abused. Much as I'd like to pretend it has nothing to do with my life now, I know that those old issues can rear their ugly heads. Not to mention coping with the judgmental tone a lot of the "healing" literature takes about S/M, let alone the disciplinary stuff.

Postby JigsawAnalogy » Sat Oct 27, 2007 11:35 am

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Postby Cammy » Sat Oct 27, 2007 1:54 pm

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Postby JigsawAnalogy » Sat Oct 27, 2007 3:07 pm

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Postby Cammy » Sun Oct 28, 2007 11:21 am

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Postby JigsawAnalogy » Sun Oct 28, 2007 12:30 pm

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Postby W-Jigsaw'sBoss » Sun Oct 28, 2007 3:07 pm

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Postby Cammy » Sun Oct 28, 2007 5:52 pm

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Postby Cammy » Tue Oct 30, 2007 12:22 am

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Postby JigsawAnalogy » Tue Oct 30, 2007 3:28 pm

There is a forum I go to that is specifically about DID.
and people there are pretty supportive of the wide range of experiences people have with DID/MPD/dissociative disorders.

As for communication... for me, it's been a matter of kind of trying to talk to myself (selves). Some, it's been in writing, so whoever is there just writes back and forth, and it just takes the discipline of not forcing yourself to write only about one thing... like, if there are different things wanting to be said, write them all down and see what you get.

Some of it is about recognizing the difference between what "I" want and what some other part is suggesting by kind of making me do something (eg, the littles used to get a LOT more toys, because I'd just find myself in the toy store buying them, and assume that *I* was the one who had made a rational choice to get them, and not that I was being influenced by a seven year old).

Good luck with all this. It's not as bad as it seems on the surface. :many:
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Postby Cammy » Tue Oct 30, 2007 9:28 pm

Thanks Jigsaw. At times, I think that I just sat there in her office when she told me that she was confident that I had DID, and I sat there and nodded. I knew she was right. She told me of things she had noticed that indicated to her what she noticed. It would have been futile to argue. I knew she was right. Then at other times, I feel frightened/worried about what it means to my ability to manage my world because I get so scattered and so distressed when memories re/emerge. And then I began to think, well this is no damn big deal, because this is really how you have been all along, so why are you so worried. Then I get sad as I wonder what things will look like later (I am guessing a few years from now) when maybe I will be managing life better than I am. I know that I have a lot of work to do. And I know how tiring the work is. I know how draining things get on me. I don't know how to shut things up so I end up feeling just as helpless as I did as a kid.

I will check out the forum. Thank you,

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Postby JigsawAnalogy » Tue Oct 30, 2007 10:17 pm

Wish I could say my experience is different a year down the road.

But I try to remember what W says about this: it's like cleaning your room; things get messier before they get put back together in a more useful order.

It is what we've been dealing with all along. On the other hand, it's like when I went into the doctor about what turned out to be fibromyalgia. I had been hoping it was something with a far shorter-term, easier method of "fixing" things. I mean, had it just been iron deficiency (which was playing a role), then upping my iron intake and eating meat again would have solved the problems entirely.

Anything like this, there's a process in coming to acceptance, and it's not a direct line. It'll be ok, even if it's hard.
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Postby Cammy » Fri Nov 02, 2007 7:20 am

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Postby JigsawAnalogy » Fri Nov 02, 2007 8:24 am

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Postby Cammy » Fri Nov 02, 2007 5:29 pm

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