CDD vs TTWD

[W-Jigsaw'sBoss]

I maintain that I am HUGELY judgemental. I called it. That's my role on this board. I call out any jerks I think are trolls or creepy or inappropriate.

Notice I haven't had to do that in a really really long time?

I seriously love you all. I'm super excited about the new folks that have just jumped in feet first. I'm very happy with the community we've created. Thank you.

And if I don't like you, I'm JUST as effusive. That's how I roll.

[artlover]

I think CDD often gets a bad rap. Many Christians are incensed at the whole idea, and folks who are non-vanilla often seem put off by the religious aspect. And certainly, some folks into CDD are rather judgmental and rigid. But so are many others. Look how many boards or lists are organized tightly around one particular view of how to have this kind of relationship. From what I can see, a lot of CDD types are simply strongly religious people who also have a predilection for giving or receiving discipline. Since their religion infuses how they look at most things, it seems only natural to me that they view ttwd from a religious angle.

[Mucker]

This is an extremely serious and important discussion going on here and it makes me feel so warm inside to have found such a wonderful bunch of people. Not sure if I can describe this coherently--but I'll try!---this topic has all kinds of ramifications and speaking as one who is more Catholic than anything else, I am acutely aware of the gross, persistent and malignant abuse of young people by priests that went on for decades. And then it was all covered up for years.
But my take on it---and perhaps this might help a wee bit to find a safe place in our minds for those who use various tenets of christianity to justify their abusive behaviour----is that all big organisations go to great lengths to protect the organisation, it gets like a living creature after a bit. And the urge to survive kind of pushes out morality.
This is not trying to justify sexual, physical and emotional abuse by priests and nuns and so-called christian brothers in my church. Not even asking for forgiveness for them---I was never sexually abused by them, i leave it to the victims to decide if they can forgive or not.
No, what I am talking about here is sorting out motivations. There is a huge downside with any major belief system. Be it communism or any religious sect. All belief systems can be used to justify abuse of others. I agree that very few of them actually codify abuse in any shape or form but since they mostly involve hierarchies, there is scope for abuse of power within them.
I too have seen various so-called christians and christian sites trying to justify abuse of children, abuse of partners, abuse of other groups and races. All kinds of abuse. It makes me sick, sometimes. I live in N ireland where we have had our years of trying to kill each other for reasons that never made much sense. Religious labels were used for convenience but the conflict here was certainly never about minor differences in how we worshipped, it was--as always!--about power.

I have gone on too long here! Only other thing I would say, with reference to the horrid thoughts we all get from time to time, which can lead some to think they are mentally ill or multiply personalified or dissociating or suffering PTSD flashbacks, is that quite often they are just that. Thoughts. Intrusive thoughts. Couldn't tell you the frequency off-hand but intrusive thoughts are pretty common. The problems arise when we take them too seriously!

Love to you all
Mucker

[LadyShriver1]

I'm kind of struggling with this aspect of TTWD again. I was doing some "research" on lecturing and kept coming across these sites. From the way a lot of the people were talking, you'd assume every woman on earth was a irresponsible bimbo who couldn't make it on her own. This is not the case in my relationship, even though we are "traditional". you know what, I can't even use that word. I'm female and the sub and he's male and the Top, but there is nothing elese traditional about it. when I come across those sites, sometimes it makes my resolve to do this waiver because I don't want to be categorized that way. Then I have to remind myself that this i about him and I and not someone else's beliefs. But I do have to restrain myself from posting on their blogs, because that would be judgemental of THAT choice. Grrrr...

[lana]

LS
I dont think that getting scolded or lectured makes me a bimbo. To me its just part of the discipline routine that goes along with the spanking. I maybe like feeling a bit like a child when im being punished. Dont know why but the lecture is an important part of the whole DD dynamics for me.

Inside im aware that theres areas im better at than he is, or areas where his own behavior is less than perfect, but that is not my role as a sub to be the enforcer/scolder.

lana

[JigsawAnalogy]

It's taken me a while to not get knocked over (so to speak) by the web sites that come up for a lot of searches. (For me, it's more the sites denying that child abuse happens, but I think the principle is the same.)

You've got my sympathy, and my support in encouraging you to trust your gut and go with what works *for you*.

It might help if you read some of the blogs by the writers at the Punishment Book. It's true that none of the writers go in for much in the way of how-to, but it can help to reconcile feminism, discipline, and even religion.

[LadyShriver1]

Lana,

I know what you mean about the "feeling like a child" thing and I didn't mean to sound judgemental of that. And for the record, I was looking up lecturing because its an important part of the process for me, too and I 'm trying to help E makeit more effective. I just detest the idea that someone else thinks I am the sub simply because I have two X chromosomes, and am therefore unable to function without the guiding hand of a man.

JA I will check the site you mentioned. Hopefully that will help.

[JigsawAnalogy]

I should also be clear that I was also suggesting perusing the linked blogs ("Our Other Sites"), since those are often more active, and sometimes offer a more general blending of what life is like--discipline, but also day-to-day.

[altbob]

We don't currently do much in the way of lecturing. I imagine that it works on some of the more immature, immediate gratification side of the personality. I know I have that, though I am neither XX nor a bottom. So I would assume the lecture is not for the intelligent, rational side. It's for the immature, irrational side. It's not saying that YOU are an immature, irrational person. Just that the part of you that is, that we all have, happens to respond well to that.
I have authority issues, and don't deal well with things like that. So I have to find other ways to handle it. Just find what works for you. As far as everyone else goes, screw em.

[wicked nurse]

This is an extremely serious and important discussion going on here and it makes me feel so warm inside to have found such a wonderful bunch of people. Not sure if I can describe this coherently--but I'll try!---this topic has all kinds of ramifications and speaking as one who is more Catholic than anything else, I am acutely aware of the gross, persistent and malignant abuse of young people by priests that went on for decades. And then it was all covered up for years.
But my take on it---and perhaps this might help a wee bit to find a safe place in our minds for those who use various tenets of christianity to justify their abusive behaviour----is that all big organisations go to great lengths to protect the organisation, it gets like a living creature after a bit. And the urge to survive kind of pushes out morality.
This is not trying to justify sexual, physical and emotional abuse by priests and nuns and so-called christian brothers in my church. Not even asking for forgiveness for them---I was never sexually abused by them, i leave it to the victims to decide if they can forgive or not.
No, what I am talking about here is sorting out motivations. There is a huge downside with any major belief system. Be it communism or any religious sect. All belief systems can be used to justify abuse of others. I agree that very few of them actually codify abuse in any shape or form but since they mostly involve hierarchies, there is scope for abuse of power within them.
I too have seen various so-called christians and christian sites trying to justify abuse of children, abuse of partners, abuse of other groups and races. All kinds of abuse. It makes me sick, sometimes. I live in N ireland where we have had our years of trying to kill each other for reasons that never made much sense. Religious labels were used for convenience but the conflict here was certainly never about minor differences in how we worshipped, it was--as always!--about power.

I have gone on too long here! Only other thing I would say, with reference to the horrid thoughts we all get from time to time, which can lead some to think they are mentally ill or multiply personalified or dissociating or suffering PTSD flashbacks, is that quite often they are just that. Thoughts. Intrusive thoughts. Couldn't tell you the frequency off-hand but intrusive thoughts are pretty common. The problems arise when we take them too seriously!

Love to you all
Mucker

An old post, but such a fair and balanced assessment I couldn't help but comment on it.

I have to agree and say that much the same is true of the military, in just the ways you have put forth.

I sincerely hope you're still around and that I'll have the pleasure of more of your insight!

Sam