Effective Punishment Needed

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Effective Punishment Needed

Postby Ladyinredbottom » Sun Jul 22, 2012 3:12 pm

Ok so by now you all know that my husband and I have been doing TTWD for close to 2 years now with remarkable results. The problem we have is that some behaviors just don't seem to be getting any better. A prime example of this would be swearing in front of the children. I have been spanked over this many, many times with little to no results. The standard for this infraction is 10 with the cane 5 with the loopy thing. I'm wondering if there is something else more effective we should be doing to curb this behavior. Please help I really want to curb this behavior and fast.

Thanks!
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Re: Effective Punishment Needed

Postby splorange » Sun Jul 22, 2012 3:21 pm

If your existing punishnemt isn't working, I don't think going harder is the solution. I'd be inclined to say pile on punishments of different genres. For my own problem, which is texting while driving, we do: lose computer privileges for 2 weeks, no spanking during that time, and after the 2 weeks a major spanking. All infractions during the 2 week period are doubly punished. Something along that line I think might be more effective. You could do something like a week of nightly spankings, and loss of privileges along with it. So that it's felt as a major infraction. Do you do mouth soaping at all? Because it suits the crime, it may be quite effective.
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Re: Effective Punishment Needed

Postby Ladyinredbottom » Sun Jul 22, 2012 3:36 pm

No we've never done mouth soaping and wouldn't even know where to begin. Sounds awful!
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Re: Effective Punishment Needed

Postby Louise » Sun Jul 22, 2012 3:41 pm

Perhaps focusing on the fact that it is setting the children a bad example would help. That is most people's reason for not swearing in front of the children.

Perhaps putting money in a jar every time you swear would help, I have heard of some people doing that.

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Re: Effective Punishment Needed

Postby Ladyinredbottom » Sun Jul 22, 2012 4:06 pm

Although I do realize it is setting a bad example for my children I still can't seem to contain myself when I am mad or accidently hurt myself such as stubbing my toe.
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Re: Effective Punishment Needed

Postby splorange » Sun Jul 22, 2012 4:09 pm

Ladyinredbottom wrote:No we've never done mouth soaping and wouldn't even know where to begin. Sounds awful!


I sympathise - can't stand the thought either! Hot sauce on the mouth is another one I've heard people use. As Louise says, money in the swear jar is very common. I guess what i'm thinking is you need to figure out what is the worst thing for you, that isn't just spanking until you crack because you might get seriously hurt. And if there isn't one particular thing, then it should be lots of things.

Ladyinredbottom wrote:Although I do realize it is setting a bad example for my children I still can't seem to contain myself when I am mad or accidently hurt myself such as stubbing my toe.


I've heard of people substituting silly words for swear words like 'fiddlesticks' for 'f**k' etc. I've found swearing for me is a habit - I swear more when around people who do and less in more polite=mouthed company. What about melding punishment with something positive, like a reward for a week without any swearing?
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Re: Effective Punishment Needed

Postby Ladyinredbottom » Sun Jul 22, 2012 8:13 pm

Unfortunately I broke two more rules since my last post. 8( I was made to clean the entire kitchen before and after dinner which I hate. Now I'm just waiting for the next hour to pass until the kids go to bed to find out my fate in the CP department. :blush: This is not going to be going to be easy. Then again nothing worth working for ever is.
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Re: Effective Punishment Needed

Postby splorange » Mon Jul 23, 2012 4:24 am

Keep us updated, Lady! I hope you and your husband figure out a way to crack this.
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Re: Effective Punishment Needed

Postby Ladyinredbottom » Mon Jul 23, 2012 9:04 am

The punishment definitely fit the crimes. Here's how it went.
Him: Drop'em and assume the position
Me: Yes Sir
Him: This is not your day today is it? Let's see swearing in front of the kids, being on the computer without permission, disrespect!
Me: I'm sorry
Him: You will be! (Whack)
Me: One
Him: Why did you swear in front of O today? (Whack)
Me: Two. Because she dropped a can on my foot and it hurt.
Him: (Whack) Does this hurt?
Me: Three. Yes it does a lot.
Him (Whack, Whack) Then why aren't you swearing now?
Me: Four, Five. Because I'm not stupid??
Him: (Whack,Whack,Whack,Whack) No your right you aren't but you sound like it when you don't have anything more intelligent to say than that filth coming out of your beautiful mouth
Me: I'm sorry Sir I will do better next time!
Him: You forgot to count! (Whack,Whack)
Me: Six, Seven.

Etc. This went on for the next two infractions for a total of 30 with the cane and 15 with the paddle. Needless to say my bottom was on fire when we were done. I will surely remember this next time I feel the urge to swear. 8(
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Re: Effective Punishment Needed

Postby Ice-cream » Mon Jul 23, 2012 9:24 am

Have you tried wearing an elastic band on your wrist and pinging it every time you catch yourself swear? An immediate small punishment is far far far more effective than a delayed severe punishment. I know it's a form of self discipline rather than external discipline but would you consider it as a supplement?
Another odd one: For every one time you use a swear word he makes you say it 100 more. It has the same effect of writing a word too often when you start to wonder if it is spelled correctly because it starts to look funny. That helps reword the brain a bit.
Also have you an alternative to say? Try and find a good one. When I worked with small children we would say "sugar" or " fudge finger" because it was easier to redirect the sound than suppress it completely. But sometimes you need a good strong alternative. Curse words are often ones that are said with teeth together or clenched, with tight lips and they end with a strong short punch "-t", "-k". Could you work out your own acceptable alternative?
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Postby Ladyinredbottom » Mon Jul 23, 2012 10:52 am

I wouldn't call what I got a severe punishment. I've gotten worse ones a time or two. The wrist band thing isn't a bad idea. We have sat down and made a list of swear words and alternatives for those words. Thanks for the ideas guys
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Re: Effective Punishment Needed

Postby splorange » Mon Jul 23, 2012 12:06 pm

Ouch! I hope you're feeling like a new beginning. For what it's worth I definitely think you can change this behaviour. It's important to you both, so you just need to find the best means whereby.
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Re: Effective Punishment Needed

Postby JigsawAnalogy » Tue Jul 24, 2012 10:07 am

For me, getting my mouth soaped really was the most effective consequence for the various times when I would say things that W objected to. The issue isn't swearing (partly because I don't do it much, and partly because W has far more of a potty mouth than I do). But for things like saying "whatever" in a rude way... mouth-soaping was effective enough that I really don't do that any more.

There are a lot of different methods, but the main point is to have soap lather in the bottom's mouth. I'd further advise to make sure that you get an all-natural bar of soap, and that you don't use detergent because that can be bad for the mucous membranes. (Something like Dr. Bronner's liquid soaps would probably work, though.)
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Re: Effective Punishment Needed

Postby lana » Tue Jul 24, 2012 4:39 pm

If the lathering part seems too icky, Ive had to hold a bite of soap in my mouth for swearing until allowed to spit it out. Not icky enough to make me sick but bad enough to make me stop myself before swearing.

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Re: Effective Punishment Needed

Postby W-Jigsaw'sBoss » Sun Aug 05, 2012 9:37 pm

Soaping the mouth is so icky I couldn't even watch her get soaped without getting gaggy. Hopefully we're done with attitude, although when we go without ttwd for weeks like we have now, things get a little tetchy. Let's see how the next while goes!
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