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This thing we do • View topic - Website

Website

For all those things not specifically on topic, but which you feel like sharing.

Website

Postby Stargirl888 » Thu May 23, 2013 10:39 am

I'm sure by now anyone doing the most basic of searches about things related to TTWD has come across http://learningdd.com/

Just curious if anyone has any thoughts on this site? Do you think it's a good source of information? :read:
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Re: Website

Postby LadyShriver1 » Fri May 24, 2013 3:44 am

You asked, so I'm going to give you my opinion straight up. I hope I don't offend anyone here.
The site is super active and contains some good information. Everything is laid out in very clear cut ways that could absolutely help someone learning about DD. It covers a vary wide range of topics that related to DD issues and they sell inexpensive manuals, some of which have been great.

My complaints would be that it is definitely based in traditional roles, and most posts seem to suggest that the writers are the first ever to discover that DD requires communication, respect, and has challenges that relate to everyday living ;-). If you can look beyond the insensitivity of the Hoh who writes most of it, it can be a very good source of information. Anything written by his wife typically doesn't contain anyone of that, and she is intelligent and well-rounded (they don't state directly who writes it, but it's obvious). It can be fairly judgemental compared to this site ( i.e " some of your may be aware of the Spencer Discipline plan, but we don't reccommend it unless you hate your spouse and want to fight all the time"). It also regualrly, if apologetically, suggests that women are typically child like creatures prone to acting out in public, defiantly selfish in their spending on clothes and jewelery when bills need to be paid, very likely to cry and quiver in fear at the first suggestion of punishment, etc.

All that being said... I literally mean that if you can look past the stereotypes that are clearly ingrainged within the authors understanding of DD, the no nonsense blogs and issues that are discussed are very much the same issues that all of us face when in a DD situation. They are discussed in an open fashion and, perhaps because of no need to feel "PC", are very frank and direct. Once I ignored the associated gender roles and arrogance, I found many articles to be valuable. I have also noticed a bit of an evolution in the posts...the earlier posts seem far more judgemental than the newer ones, so I have to give it credit for that. Deifnitely worth a visit, but be prepared for VERY traditionalist views.
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Re: Website

Postby Eayore » Fri May 24, 2013 5:41 pm

Thanks for the information! Not sure if I could wade through all the stuff you mention. Maybe I'll give it a try at some point. It's useful to know about this anyway.
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Re: Website

Postby artlover » Sat May 25, 2013 11:00 am

Thank you for that link. I was unaware of it.

As to the traditionalist focus, I have not read any of it yet, but I see that as similar to how I view CDD, readers of other persuasions can take what works for them and ignore the rest.

IMO, people bring their personal proclivities to DD, and then produce an explanatory narrative that reflects that. Thus, in CDD, you have particularly religious people who are wired for DD. It is very fulfilling to them to interpret DD through the lens of their religion. (If I was not an agnostic, I think this would be very appealing for me) Same thing for those who favor traditional sex roles. I am one of those, and find extremely attractive the idea that DD is something naturally appropriate to the relationship of husband and wife. I recognize, of course, that that is a construct of mine that comes out of what I find erotic. Somebody else will have a different construct. IMO, there is little point in getting too put off by someone else's construct, even though they present it as a natural part of the order of existence.
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Re: Website

Postby LadyShriver1 » Wed May 29, 2013 12:54 pm

I agree to an extent, but I also believe you can't help what may bother you. I work on looking past some of that with more traditional sites.

I am in a female bottom, Male Top relationship, so I can also take some enjoyment from the "traditional role" aspect when I choose. But as a girl, I've also spent most of my life with social media and other outside influences telling me who I am, which sometimes include the likelihood to overspend my hardworking husband's money, have temper tantrums, cry at the first sign of pain, etc. And that's not who I am. So, it can be hard for me to look past that. If someone were saying "In my relationship, my wife tends to overspend without thinking..." I would say, that's a great thing for them to work on with DD. I take offense, despite disclaimers to the statement "Of course, everyone is different, but most men will have to spank their wives for over spending at some point. Here's how to go about it..."

I do have one other little thing with the super stereotyped examples I find on CDD sites etc. I, will admit, I find the "get over my knees for running up the credit card" scenario erotic. But I think that's because it's so not true to life that it's a roleplay for me. I feel like I would have to put on high heels and wear a polka dot dress and pearls. But for someone else, this siituationn might be a regular occurence in their DD relations for real and serious reasons. But I strongly suspect that as many men are over their Tops lap receiving swats for overspending as are women.
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Re: Website

Postby artlover » Mon Jun 03, 2013 7:07 am

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Re: Website

Postby LadyShriver1 » Tue Jun 04, 2013 3:49 am

Lol...Are the book cases still in use?

I don't know about the ratio of male Tops vs female Tops. It would make a certain amount sense that since only that gender set-up is typically appropriate within CDD views, that it would be true. But, speaking only from my experience in BDSM, there were far more male bottoms involved in the groups we participated in. I think BDSM may lead some people to DD, as it did for me, so maybe that ratio will begin evening out slowly, as do other gender role based things on our planet. And this doesn't even account for same sex relationships.

On a sort of related note to the original post, a recent article on that site discussed bruising and marks during spanking. There was a definite statement, even in response to many comments from people arguing otherwise, that any bruise or mark from a spanking means that the spanking was conducted incorrectly. The writer also stated, in regards to a question, that he had ONCE left a bruise on his wife and made serious amends.

To this, I say, holy crap. E conducts careful and thorough warm up spankings, but I gotta tell you, I've had plenty of marks on my rump. Pretty much with every spanking I've ever had. So had all the people who commented on the post on that site, which was only a few.

What has anyone else experienced? E isn't "hurting" me...frankly, most of the time he could spank a whole lot harder. I have never had a single lasting effect from any mark other than to think about it really hard the next day (kind of the point for us!) I just wondered if this was a weird occurence or common for others as well.
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Re: Website

Postby artlover » Tue Jun 04, 2013 8:57 am

I think there is a pretty large group in bdsm that are not at all dd, and I am not surprised that there are a lot of male bottoms there. But I have no real experience there, only what I have read.

Yes, the bookcases are still in use.

As to bruising equals doing it wrong, that is the kind of dogmatic statement one often reads. It silly. Spend a little time on these kinds of boards and you will read women saying they bruise from a mild "good girl" spanking, and others who don't no matter what. Some common implements, like the hairbrush, are well known for leaving bruises. And of course you read many bottems who are delighted when their top leaves a few marks, and feel unsatisfied, or less satisfied, if they don't get them.

We never did anything that could be called severe, but I have left a few light bruises, which I thought were lovely, and which bothered my wife not a bit.
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Re: Website

Postby Eayore » Sat Jun 29, 2013 11:22 am

I am definitely one of those bottoms who are delighted with having marks - and disappointed if I don't. I think P likes to leave marks as well.
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Re: Website

Postby LadyShriver1 » Mon Jul 01, 2013 11:46 am

I definitely tend to share your feeling of dissapointment, Eayore..I want those marks as a little reminder.
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